List of Dharma & Greg episodes
Dharma & Greg is an American television sitcom that aired from September 24, 1997, to April 30, 2002.
It stars Jenna Elfman and Thomas Gibson as Dharma and Greg Montgomery, a couple who got married on their first date despite being complete opposites. The series is co-produced by Chuck Lorre Productions, More-Medavoy Productions and 4 to 6 Foot Productions in association with 20th Century Fox Television for ABC. The show's theme song was written and performed by composer Dennis C. Brown. During the course of the series, 119 episodes of Dharma & Greg aired over five seasons.
Series overview
| Season | Episodes | Originally aired | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| First aired | Last aired | ||||
| 1 | 23 | September 24, 1997 | May 20, 1998 | ||
| 2 | 24 | September 23, 1998 | May 26, 1999 | ||
| 3 | 24 | September 21, 1999 | May 16, 2000 | ||
| 4 | 24 | October 10, 2000 | May 22, 2001 | ||
| 5 | 24 | September 25, 2001 | April 30, 2002 | ||
Episodes
Season 1 (1997–98)
| No. in series | No. in season | Title | Directed By | Written By | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | "Pilot" | James Burrows | Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | September 24, 1997 |
|
When Greg sees Dharma on the subway, they can't stop looking at each other. She recognizes his picture in the newspaper and finds him in his office, drags him to a Giants baseball game, then for pie in Reno, where they get married all within the same day. Back at home, the dream soon turns into a nightmare for Greg when he meets Dharma's hippie parents. They can't tell her dad Larry that they committed the 'fascist state's unnatural' act of marriage. Dharma's adventure begins when she meets Greg's socialite snob parents. The happy couple finds themselves in a tug of war between decency and staying true to yourself with ruthless honesty. | |||||
| 2 | 2 | "And the In-Laws Meet" | Will Mackenzie | Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | October 1, 1997 |
| When Dharma and Greg throw a party to celebrate their union, a disapproving Kitty boycotts the event, and Dharma sets out to befriend her mother-in-law. But when the Montgomerys and the Finkelsteins finally get together to plan the details, the hostilities really begin. | |||||
| 3 | 3 | "Shower the People You Love With Love" | Will Mackenzie | Bill Prady | October 8, 1997 |
| Dharma tries to sprinkle a little TLC in Greg's life by installing a new, deluxe "Spring Mist 3000" shower, while Greg finds himself on a testosterone-ridden golfing afternoon with Edward and Larry. Meanwhile, Kitty, misunderstanding the word "shower," readies for a social event with hors d'oeuvres and formal invitations. | |||||
| 4 | 4 | "And Then There's the Wedding" | Will Mackenzie | Regina Stewart | October 15, 1997 |
| There's love amid the ruins when Dharma and Greg hold a "do-over" wedding to appease their families, particularly the hostile Kitty, who turns the young couple's plans for a simple party into a big country-club affair, including a formal renewal of the wedding vows. Meanwhile, Pete and Jane have a surprising encounter of their own in the cloakroom. | |||||
| 5 | 5 | "The Ex-Files" | Tom Moore | Eric Zicklin | October 22, 1997 |
| When Greg's former co-worker and ex-girlfriend Barbara is transferred back to his firm from Washington, Dharma seeks to assuage her own natural jealousy by finding a new Mr. Right for Barbara—a quest which takes on a desperate edge when Barbara confesses she is still in love with Greg. | |||||
| 6 | 6 | "Yoga and Boo, Boo" | Gail Mancuso | Regina Stewart & Eric Zicklin | October 29, 1997 |
| When Greg's competitive nature becomes destructive, Dharma exposes him to yoga, hoping to lower his stress level. After two classes, however, they both realize Greg's life is out of control when he gets into a macho "I can do this" contest with Pete and pulls a groin muscle. Meanwhile, Larry goes to Edward with a scheme to mass-market videos of Dharma's yoga instruction. | |||||
| 7 | 7 | "Indian Summer" | Philip Charles MacKenzie | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Charles Harper Yates Story by: Dottie Dartland | November 5, 1997 |
| While sunning on the roof, Dharma & Jane meet an elderly Native American who wants to die on the premises, claiming that it was his ancestors' sacred burial ground. Naturally Dharma invites him to stay with her, and naturally Greg is deeply suspicious of his motives and tails them—even to the extent of getting Pete to impersonate him at a dinner with Attorney General Janet Reno. | |||||
| 8 | 8 | "Mr. Montgomery Goes to Washington" | Philip Charles MacKenzie | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart Story by: Chuck Lorre | November 12, 1997 |
| After Greg wins a major court case, he is urged to run for Congress. It is an idea that moves Dharma to consult Greg's mother for grooming advice, as a potential political wife. After worrying about Dharma fitting in with the political crowd, Greg embarrasses himself during his first public appearance by emerging from the washroom with his fly undone. But when Dharma tries to boost his confidence with a little back-seat lovin', it becomes front-page news. Greg is thrown into a black depression until he realizes that his popularity has soared; then his opponent makes a decisive sexual confession of his own. | |||||
| 9 | 9 | "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Father" | Gail Mancuso | Bill Prady & Sid Youngers | November 19, 1997 |
| When Greg needs an upgraded security clearance to work on a top-secret case, Dharma and the families are subjected to a background check, which reveals some very interesting information about Larry and Edward. Dharma discovers to her horror that her proud anti-establishment rebel father is not in fact wanted by the FBI as he's always bragged, and embroils Greg and Pete in a scheme to plant a phony file for Larry to steal. Meanwhile, Greg is shaken to discover that Edward never in fact divorced his first wife; and Kitty's reaction to the news is not what anyone would expect. | |||||
| 10 | 10 | "The First Thanksgiving" | Gail Mancuso | Chuck Lorre & Dottie Dartland | November 26, 1997 |
| After Dharma, Larry and Abby give a farm-full of turkeys their freedom, Dharma volunteers to make Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family in Kitty's spacious kitchen, with Jane's help (while Kitty plays it safe with a restaurant reservation). But Greg is not offering up thanks when he's the last to know that Dharma might have more than just a bird in the oven. | |||||
| 11 | 11 | "Instant Dharma" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers Story by: Chuck Lorre | December 10, 1997 |
| Dharma's parents arrive for their weekly yoga class only to find Dharma in tears because all her other students have deserted her for the popular self-defense class across the hall. Greg's efforts to cheer her up only get them evicted from Kitty's operatic fund raising evening. Clearing out her locker, Dharma curiously wanders into the self-defense class that turns out to be run by a wacky woman named Spyder, who is promoting herself with alarmist flyers about a massive increase in crime in the neighborhood. When Dharma protests that this is a lie, Spyder intimidates her physically, then invades a depressed Dharma's nightmare about breaking her non-violent principles and retaliating. When Dharma does attempt to remonstrate with Spyder, both she and Greg get their butts kicked. | |||||
| 12 | 12 | "Haus Arrest" | Gail Mancuso | Dottie Dartland & Regina Stewart | December 17, 1997 |
| Dharma's free spirit and maternal instincts are challenged when Greg's rebellious teenage cousin Jennifer visits for the holidays and soon abuses her newfound friendship with her aunt. When Dharma discovers that Jennifer has invited a boyfriend over unannounced, she lowers the disciplinary boom — and Jennifer runs away. As punishment, Dharma and Jane take her along on a wacky shopping trip pretending to be monolingual German tourists, they are upset to discover that she has used them as a cover for actual shoplifting. | |||||
| 13 | 13 | "Do You Want Fries With That?" | Ellen Gittelsohn | Chuck Lorre & Charles Harper Yates | January 7, 1998 |
| Greg's latest legal victory leaves him depressed in the middle of the office celebration, so Dharma suggests that maybe Greg should quit and "follow his bliss." It turns out that Greg's suppressed passion is for cooking, so he informs his disturbed parents that he is starting a new career as a short-order cook in a hamburger joint. This prompts Edward to confession his own secret talent: hairdressing. | |||||
| 14 | 14 | "Old Yeller" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Eric Zicklin Story by: Don Foster | January 21, 1998 |
| Transportation becomes an issue for the young couple when Greg insists Dharma can use his car any time she wants but makes compulsive demands on her treatment of the vehicle. (Dharma: "Honey, I love you, but bite me!") So Dharma goes to a city auction with Jane and Pete and becomes the proud owner of a 1968 yellow school bus. Meanwhile, Abby invites the Montgomery's over for a meat dinner, and reveals that she was once romantically involved with Salazar, the featured artist at Kitty's charity exhibition. An amused Edward challenges the Finkelstein's to attend the function, which is threatened by a freak rainstorm and flood—it's 'Old Yeller' to the rescue! | |||||
| 15 | 15 | "The Second Coming of Leonard" | Gail Mancuso | Dottie Dartland & Eric Zicklin | February 4, 1998 |
| When Dharma's charismatic old boyfriend, Leonard, suddenly re-enters her life after a year in India, Greg finds himself extremely uncomfortable around him, especially when it becomes clear that absolutely everyone else, from Greg's parents to even Marlene, absolutely adores Leonard. Weakened by battling a bad cold, Greg is thrown for a loop when Leonard reveals that he has been celibate since he left Dharma and Dharma decides that she and Greg should give abstinence a try as well. Finally, Dharma informs everyone that they should respect Greg's wishes and not see Leonard any more, then everyone simultaneously spots Greg on television enjoying Leonard's company and his bench-side basketball tickets. | |||||
| 16 | 16 | "Dharma and Greg's First Romantic Valentine's Day Weekend" | Gil Junger | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart Story by: Chuck Lorre | February 11, 1998 |
| A romantic Valentine's Day weekend turns out to be anything but for Dharma and Greg. It all begins when Greg downloads a travel brochure promising a cozy getaway at the Red Rose Inn in upstate snow country. Unfortunately, things don't go quite as planned. En route, they get ticketed for speeding when Greg tries to make up time lost burying a dead animal that Dharma spotted by the roadside. Worse still, when they arrive at the inn they discover it's just an ordinary little house with no snow and only a backyard trailer to accommodate guests. Meanwhile, Kitty misinterprets Larry's talk about an animal-shelter swap meet to mean wife swapping, and she and Edward find themselves strangely disturbed by the idea. | |||||
| 17 | 17 | "The Official Dharma & Greg Episode of the 1998 Winter Olympics" | James Burrows | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady Story by: Dottie Dartland | February 25, 1998 |
| While Dharma, Abby and Jane try to help a depressed Kitty struggle through her 50th birthday, Greg, Larry and Edward head off to the slopes to stage their own Winter Olympics. To head off Kitty's stated intention of immediate plastic surgery, the daffy trio persuades her to join them, big wigs and scanty dresses donned, on a mission to flirt at a navy bar. Kitty is an immediate hit - until one of the young men tells her she reminds him of his mother! Meanwhile, tobogganing down a mountainside in a canoe, at night, backwards, turns out to be the father and son bonding experience Greg and Edward never found time for. | |||||
| 18 | 18 | "Daughter of the Bride of Finkelstein" | Gail Mancuso | Chuck Lorre & Fred Greenlee | March 4, 1998 |
| A plumbing emergency in their apartment forces Dharma and Greg to move in temporarily with his parents, and a situation fraught with tension is made worse when the Finkelstein's decide to contemplate marriage after twenty eight years of unwed bliss. | |||||
| 19 | 19 | "Dharma's Tangled Web" | Ken Levine | Bill Prady & Regina Stewart | March 11, 1998 |
| Dropping in on Kitty, Dharma instantly senses what has happened: Kitty and Edward are separating. An appalled Kitty makes Dharma promise not to tell Greg, but this well-meaning deception snowballs as Dharma's sense of guilt develops into a series of escalating fibs that draws in an uncomprehending Jane Seymour. | |||||
| 20 | 20 | "The Cat's Out of the Bag" | Gail Mancuso | Dottie Dartland & Fred Greenlee | April 1, 1998 |
| The pretense that everything is fine with Greg's parents finally proves too much for Dharma, who snaps during dinner at a Chinese restaurant and has the bad news served to Greg in a fortune cookie. Trying to help the Montgomery's non-existent sex life, Dharma takes Kitty to her local neighborhood erotica store, where they naturally run into Abby and Larry. Greg and Pete take Edward for a drink to commiserate, and Edward demonstrates his ace in pick-up lines. He ends up robbed and tied to a bed by the woman and her accomplice, Vincent (Penn Jillette). Meanwhile, Jane has gone off to a Star Trek convention, leaving her pet Mr. Boots with Dharma and Greg. But Greg freaks out when he discovers that Mr. Boots is not exactly a cat. Guest stars: Penn & Teller | |||||
| 21 | 21 | "Spring Forward, Fall Down" | Gail Mancuso | Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | April 28, 1998 |
| Spring fever hits klutzy Dharma, moving her to dance naked on the roof in full view of a newscast helicopter, carpet the apartment with live grass and enter a ballroom dancing contest at the Montgomery's posh country club. Reluctant Greg insists they should accept that they have no chance of winning and merely enjoy themselves, but Dharma confesses to her parents that for once in her life, she's like to be competitive at all costs. Trouble is, the brunt of her aspirations is borne not by her competition but by Greg. | |||||
| 22 | 22 | "Much Ado During Nothing" | Ken Levine | Eric Zicklin & Chuck Lorre | May 13, 1998 |
| When Jane breezes in to claim custody of Dharma's stuffed duck, Dharma explains to Greg that it's a trophy held by whoever has had sex in the unlikeliest place. Having actually fallen asleep during sex the night before, the couple decide to spice up their love life and search the city for a public place to have sex, since the rest of San Francisco will be too busy watching the finale of Seinfeld to notice. But Jane 'seduces' Pete by painting his toenails and shaving his legs, and talks about their plans and sets out to sabotage their trophy win, and, after a few ironic twists, it is not Dharma and Greg who get arrested for having sex on the steps of City Hall, but Kitty and Edward. | |||||
| 23 | 23 | "Invasion of the Buddy Snatcher" | Gail Mancuso | Susannah Hardaway & Charles Harper Yates | May 20, 1998 |
| When Greg hosts a poker game, Dharma takes advantage of the occasion to meet his buddies. Petty jealousies surface as she begins befriending the men and privately advising them on personal matters - including bankruptcy, impotence, and a serious crush one of the men has on Greg - and they in turn begin to full uncomfortable around Greg because he won't share his feelings with them. Upset that Dharma has taken over his friends, Greg tries to bluff her by maintaining that he has plans of his own to hang out with Jane; and when Dharma thinks this an "awesome" idea, he finds himself involved in a bizarre role-playing game with Jane's very bizarre friends. Meanwhile, Kitty and Edward are unhappily afloat in "duck soup," as their swimming pool is invaded by waterfowl. Enter Abby, who has a Berkeley degree in ornithological intelligence. | |||||
Season 2 (1998–99)
| No. in series | No. in season | Title | Directed By | Written By | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 24 | 1 | "Ringing Up Baby" | Gail Mancuso | Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | September 23, 1998 |
| A new path in life opens suddenly at the newlyweds' feet when Donna, who works the express checkout at their local supermarket, reveals that she has been dumped by her boyfriend just as she is about to have his child. When Dharma brings her home for the night, Donna suggsests that Dharma and Greg could adopt her baby. Greg is against the idea initially but after a few twists and turns, things work out in the end. | |||||
| 25 | 2 | "It Takes a Village" | Gail Mancuso | Bill Prady & Regina Stewart | September 30, 1998 |
| Abby and Larry assemble a village, which includes an African spiritual adviser, a troubadour, a storyteller who has taken a vow of silence, a lesbian lactation expert, and Jane to help Dharma and Greg with the baby. Greg is pleased, sort of, until he realizes that this entails everyone living with them during the baby's first formative years. Meanwhile, Kitty takes to her bed, convinced that her life is over now that she has become a grandmother overnight. Dharma promises to help Kitty fulfill her matriarchal ambitions by having "a whole buttload of kids," but is taken aback by Kitty's first dynastic decision: to name the baby after Edward's wealthy uncle Fergus. | |||||
| 26 | 3 | "Turn Turn Turn" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart Story by: Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | October 7, 1998 |
| Experimenting to see if her parents can be trusted to mind the baby, Dharma and Greg take the baby to the movies with them, but the incessant crying annoys the patrons around them, Dharma's crying. Abby approached Kitty to see if they can agree on a compromise between their family traditions for the baby's naming ceremony, which results in a huge gathering and a minister, a rabbi, and a shaman. (Yes, they tell jokes.) Even Kitty, with the help of Larry's special cookies, gets into the swing of things; and all is happiness until a telegram arrives: Donna has changed her mind and wants the baby back. | |||||
| 27 | 4 | "The Paper Hat Anniversary" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Eric Zicklin Story by: Chuck Lorre | October 14, 1998 |
| It's traditional to fight on your first anniversary (even if Hallmark doesn't have a card for it): Dharma and Greg stage an argument to escape their parents' planned celebration, but in concocting the excuse Greg says Dharma was being "flighty," and the gloves come off. While they drive out of the city, Dharma retaliates by calling Greg a "stick in the mud," and soon their car is stuck in the mud when he tries to demonstrate how impetuous he can be. (Not very.) They hike to a diner, but find it closed because of a death in the owner's family; just as Greg breaks a pane in the door in order to use the phone, a highway patrolman happens by and the young couple get caught in a charade of being the replacement cook and waitress. There's a nice unspoken continuity with the first season episode in which Greg really did become a short order cook, and it's nice to see him sharing Dharma's role-playing game, even if unwillingly. But Dharma looks tense and unhappy even before Greg accidentally insults her. Are we to infer a further continuity with the stress from the loss of the baby? | |||||
| 28 | 5 | "Unarmed and Dangerous" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Noah Gregoropoulos & Julie Ann Larson Story by: Charles Harper Yates | October 21, 1998 |
|
In the middle of a typical in-law squabble, Dharma and Greg answer an emergency call and rush to hospital. There they find a partially immobilized Pete, who has dislocated both shoulders in a bizarre car accident. Greg is not too pleased at Dharma's offer to nurse Pete back to health, and after a traumatic visit to Pete's apartment to pick up his cat gives her far too much insight into Pete's life (or lack thereof) Dharma finds herself committed to cleansing her house guest both physically and spiritually. Meanwhile, Kitty convinces Abby's "Save the Ducks" fund raising committee that rather than making $800 with a bake sale, they can raise $80,000 with a fancy celebrity dinner featuring "Alan Alda, or one of the Baldwin boys." Trouble is when the event gets under way, the celebrity turns out to be not exactly environmentally aware Andrew Dice Clay. Jane becomes addicted to the one acceptable item in Pete's apartment: his vibrating, um, massage chair; and Pete's final act of chauvinism for this episode, involving beautiful twin masseuses who live above a liquor store, leaves him in a very embarrassing position indeed. | |||||
| 29 | 6 | "A Closet Full of Hell" | Gil Junger | Teleplay by: Dottie Dartland & Fred Greenlee Story by: Chuck Lorre | October 28, 1998 |
| Dharma and Greg are haunted by a prankster spirit living in a newly discovered hidden closet. It turns out that an old lady collects dolls. Meanwhile Larry shows Edward his skills of building furniture. | |||||
| 30 | 7 | "Valet Girl" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Fred Greenlee & Bill Prady Story by: Chuck Lorre | November 4, 1998 |
| Greg is forced to make a very embarrassing public admission when he sees the first girl he claims to have slept with and her jealous husband makes some serious threats. Meanwhile, Dharma and Greg attend the wedding of Kitty's housekeeper and offer to park cars as a wedding gift and Dharma get carried away with a Ferrari. | |||||
| 31 | 8 | "Like, Dharma's Totally Got a Date" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Regina Stewart & Eric Zicklin Story by: Dottie Dartland | November 11, 1998 |
| Dharma discovers Greg is really the only man for her when she agrees to attend a dance with a nerdy high school kid, but meets with some serious competition from the younger crowd. Meanwhile, Larry sings his "You guys are okay" song to Edward and Kitty, causing Kitty to fall and hurt herself; this prompts Kitty to sue Larry after she is embarrassed by her donut-cushion in front of the mayor. Larry represents himself, while Pete arbitrates. | |||||
| 32 | 9 | "Brought to You in DharmaVision" | Chuck Lorre | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart Story by: Chuck Lorre | November 18, 1998 |
| Dharma is surprised when both Jane and her parents accuse her of having changed because she is busy attending a society fundraiser with Kitty then alarmed when Kitty congratulates her on having changed to the extent that young socialites thinks she's "a hoot and a half." Her identity crisis is confirmed by a visit from the spirit of her Indian friend, George, who directs her to retreat to the Redwoods to find herself and conveys a cryptic message to "save the young one." An uncomprehending Greg reluctantly lets her go, persuading her to take Jane with her; then, upon seeing George in a dream, rushes to the woods in Larry's van to save Dharma and Jane, who have adopted a bear cub while remaining oblivious to the nearby presence of its angered mother. Best lines: George to Dharma: "You might have mentioned that you moved. I scared some skinny guy in the shower half to death!"; Larry, fleeing from the mother bear, slips on something in the woods and mutters, "That answers that question!" | |||||
| 33 | 10 | "Yes, We Have No Bananas (or Anything Else for That Matter)" | Ellen Gittelsohn | Teleplay by: Charles Harper Yates & Eric Zicklin Story by: Regina Stewart | November 25, 1998 |
| A gently surreal episode whose humor derives from escalating skewed logic in the Preston Sturges mode: Greg's hostile secretary Marlene (at last the wonderful Yeardley Smith returns!) is offended by her annual staff evaluation as "Satisfactory," while Greg is overjoyed by his "Superior" rating until he learns Pete got the same rating. When Greg confronts his boss, he is driven to desperation by the man's apparent complete inability to discriminate between similar items (Tahiti vs. Buffalo as a honeymoon destination, freshly baked bread vs. moldy supermarket bread), and almost unhinged by the boss's decision to put Pete in charge while he is in medical leave. At the same time Greg must deal with Dharma's impulse decision to open a store without first deciding what she will sell, and the fact that the place quickly becomes packed with people who find Dharma's environment strangely soothing and establish a barter economy amongst themselves. There is of course only one "logical" conclusion: despite the fact that Dharma is losing money, she makes a profit when she is bought out by Starbucks. (We leave her contemplating a "drive-through" version of her non-store.) Meanwhile, Larry tries to persuade Edward to buy a drug-running friend's power yacht, and the four-in laws find themselves held prisoner by an aggressive sea lion who climbs on board and won't leave. | |||||
| 34 | 11 | "The House That Dharma Built" | Gail Mancuso | Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | December 9, 1998 |
| A friendly game of strip poker between the newlyweds is interrupted by an emergency visit from Larry and Abby (who are willing to wait a half hour until the sex is finished, an offer Greg can't accept). It turns out that their property is under siege by an unscrupulous developer who happens to be a former, and hated, classmate of Greg's. After Dharma invites the developer and his wife to dinner, then has to fight off his sexual advances, she is forced to accept Greg's viewpoint -- that he is evil -- and to seek a flattered Kitty's advice on how to get rid of him and save her parents' beloved home. The solution involves Jane, Pete, a trampoline, some garbage cans, and the IRS... and a wonderful coda using the trampoline. At the end of the episodes it turns out the Finklestien's house is saved. (In the course of the episode we also learn that Dharma has been both a magician's assistant and a professional casino dealer.) | |||||
| 35 | 12 | "Are You Ready for Some Football?" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Fred Greenlee & Eric Zicklin Story by: Bill Prady | December 16, 1998 |
| When Greg convinces Dharma to accompany him and Pete to a football game, despite her lifelong aversion to competitive sports, he is unprepared for her sudden and total conversion into a fanatical San Francisco 49ers fan--and the term "fanatical" is not used lightly. When Dharma sneaks out to a game in the middle of dinner with her parents, Greg decides she needs help, and arranges an intervention involving quarterback Steve Young. | |||||
| 36 | 13 | "Death and Violins" | Dottie Dartland | Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | January 6, 1999 |
| Edward's mother Beatrice is dying and knows it, despite the efforts of everyone around her to deny the fact except Dharma, who argues for honesty and gets a priceless Stradivarius as a keepsake, much to the horror of Kitty who believes it belongs in a museum -- especially after everyone has heard Dharma trying to learn "Three Blind Mice" on the instrument. Then Dharma learns something very surprising: Edward and Kitty's marriage was a whirlwind courtship bitterly opposed by Beatrice, who has never forgiven her "free-thinking" daughter-in-law and refuses to pass on the family heirloom engagement ring to her. Dharma tries to help mend fences before it's too late -- then tries to respect Beatrice's dying wish to pass on the ring when it is much, much too late. In a coda, Greg is more than happy to let Dharma's violin teacher borrow the Strad for a recital, then learns Dharma has taken up the trombone instead. | |||||
| 37 | 14 | "Dharma and Greg on a Hot Tin Roof" | Gail Mancuso | Dottie Dartland & Regina Stewart | January 20, 1999 |
| Role playing at a golf shop, the couple put on fake Southern accents and wind up endearing themselves to a genuine Southerner -- who turns out to be the federal judge before whom Greg must argue a cast the next day. After an evening's panic, he decides to tough it out and wins the case hands down (while mystifying Pete). But he discovers he has succeeded only too well: Judge Harper becomes the couple's best friend and constant companion, and Greg despairs at having to keep up the pretence forever -- especially when the judge comes to meet the entire extended family. | |||||
| 38 | 15 | "Dharma and the Horse She Rode In On" | Bob Berlinger | Teleplay by: Julie Ann Larson & Charles Harper Yates Story by: Regina Stewart | February 3, 1999 |
| It's Dharma's birthday, but the surprise she gets isn't what Greg was planning. First his parents take them on a mock foxhunt, and the uncontrollably wild stallion at the stables becomes meek as a lamb as soon as he meets Dharma. Groom Joaquin swears it's because the horse has fallen madly in love with Dharma, and sure enough Steve starts showing up unexpectedly at the apartment. Meanwhile, Greg's old flame Barbara is assigned to work with him on a case with an overnight deadline. | |||||
| 39 | 16 | "See Dharma Run" | Bob Berlinger | Teleplay by: Regina Stewart & Sid Youngers Story by: Chuck Lorre | February 10, 1999 |
| After a dehumanizing experience with bureaucratic red tape, Dharma is inspired to run for office, and thanks to a pair of wacky opponents and a hefty campaign contribution from Edward, she may have a real shot. Meanwhile, Pete and Jane find a shocking way to fight the alone-on-Valentine's-Day blues. | |||||
| 40 | 17 | "Run, Dharma, Run" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Eric Zicklin Story by: Dottie Dartland | February 17, 1999 |
| As Election Day approaches, Dharma and Greg's relationship hits stormy seas due to clashes over her campaign strategy. Meanwhile, an aggressive opponent may really rain on Dharma's parade. | |||||
| 41 | 18 | "See Dharma Run Amok" | Will Mackenzie | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Regina Stewart Story by: Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | February 24, 1999 |
| Election day is here, and Dharma has finally mastered the art of politics. But it's her own body that teaches her that lying can lead to flu, rashes, eye sties, oozing sores and even a bout of the gout. | |||||
| 42 | 19 | "Everybody Must Get Stones" | Will Mackenzie | Bill Prady & Sid Youngers | March 3, 1999 |
| Dharma and Greg join their parents, and even Pete and Jane, on a couples' retreat. But when they repeatedly fail tests designed to demonstrate the strength of their relationship (while Pete and Jane score tops), they resort to covert measures. Meanwhile, Kitty and Edward find a weekend in the wild to be just that. | |||||
| 43 | 20 | "Dharma Drags Edward Out of Retirement" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Regina Stewart Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | March 31, 1999 |
| When Greg rather reluctantly gives Dharma half of his on-line investment account, she becomes obsessed with profit (even borrowing from her parents), but unwisely follows a tip from a friend of Larry's and sinks everything into a San Francisco company that promptly sinks even further. When she appeals to a recently retired Edward for help, he quickly rejuvenates the business, which happens to merchandize women's fashions for men: edrag.com; but Kitty objects that Edward's golden years were reserved for her. | |||||
| 44 | 21 | "It Never Happened One Night" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Julie Ann Larson & Bill Prady Story by: Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre | May 5, 1999 |
| Dharma pushes her mother-in-law's fortitude to the absolute limit when she presents Kitty with an award at a country-club luncheon -- and later wrecks her car. The episode ends with a food fight between Kitty and Dharma. Meanwhile, Greg becomes Pete and Jane's lawyer. | |||||
| 45 | 22 | "Bed, Bath and Beyond" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Fred Greenlee Story by: Julie Ann Larson & Eric Zicklin | May 12, 1999 |
| Greg is forced to go with the flow when Larry makes a few improvements in the loft and lets in more than just a spring shower; and Dick Clark pays a visit during Edward's surreal flashback sequence. | |||||
| 46 | 23 | "A Girl Can Dream, Can't She?" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Dottie Dartland | May 19, 1999 |
| Greg discovers he should pay more attention to his wife's intuition when Dharma has a nightmare and begs him not to go away on a business trip. | |||||
| 47 | 24 | "The Dating Game" | Gail Mancuso | Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | May 26, 1999 |
| When Dharma and Greg decide to go on a first date to get reacquainted the old-fashioned way, their courtship doesn't go as well as planned: a furious Dharma moves back in with her parents and refuses to speak to a penitent Greg. | |||||
Season 3 (1999–2000)
| No. in series | No. in season | Title | Directed By | Written By | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 48 | 1 | "One Flew Over the Lawyer's Desk" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Bill Prady Story by: Chuck Lorre | September 21, 1999 |
| Questioning his place in the universe, Greg begins a journey of self-discovery by exploring his reasons for becoming a lawyer. | |||||
| 49 | 2 | "Welcome to the Hotel Calamari" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | September 28, 1999 |
| Trying to find himself, Greg goes on a "journey of self-discovery", which ends in a seedy motel. | |||||
| 50 | 3 | "Dharma's Inferno" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Julie Ann Larson & Rachel Sweet Story by: Michelle Nader & Jonathan Schmock | October 5, 1999 |
| When the financial realities of Greg's unemployment sink in, Dharma takes on a slew of new jobs and makes a deal with the devil to make ends meet: she accepts covert checks from Kitty in exchange for expanded mother/daughter-in-law time spent together. Only when Edward takes Greg to a high-power suits party while Kitty takes her to the opera to see "Faust" does Dharma come to her senses and rush back just in time to prevent Greg from accepting a corporate job. | |||||
| 51 | 4 | "Play Lady Play" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Eddie Gorodetsky & Fred Greenlee Story by: Chuck Lorre | October 12, 1999 |
|
Dharma agrees to play drums for a friend's teenage garage band. Meanwhile, she helps Greg through his crisis by purposefully invoking arguments with him. Guest Stars: Jane Lynch and Bob Dylan | |||||
| 52 | 5 | "I Did It For You, Kitty" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Jonathan Schmock & Regina Stewart Story by: Julie Ann Larson & Chuck Lorre | October 19, 1999 |
| Faced with Kitty's midlife crisis, Dharma decides to help her fulfill her lifelong dream—winning a beauty pageant. | |||||
| 53 | 6 | "The Very Grateful Dead" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Jenna Bruce & Michelle Nader Story by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart | October 26, 1999 |
| Dharma becomes convinced that the ghost of a recently deceased neighbor wants to conduct some unfinished business—and the spirit soon moves Greg in a rather carnal way. | |||||
| 54 | 7 | "Fairway to Heaven" | Ken Levine | Teleplay by: Rachel Sweet & Sid Youngers Story by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart | November 2, 1999 |
| Greg decides his life's fulfillment lies on the professional golf course, but Dharma isn't so sure if she should let him play through, given that Greg's journey of self-discovery may mean relocating to Scotland. | |||||
| 55 | 8 | "Tie-Dying The Knot" | Chuck Lorre | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Michelle Nader & Jonathan Schmock | November 9, 1999 |
| Abby and Larry decide to make it official after thirty years of unwedded bliss, provided they can get Kenny Loggins to sing at the ceremony. Meanwhile, Greg comes full circle on his search for tranquility a part-time resident of the local park comes to him with a legal problem. | |||||
| 56 | 9 | "Law and Disorder" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Jenna Bruce & Chuck Lorre Story by: Regina Stewart | November 16, 1999 |
| Constant interference makes Greg wish that his new law practice were a little more private, especially when Dharma keeps solving his client's problems without recourse to the law; Dharma reaches out to her landlady on behalf of the other tenants; Larry pursues an increasingly vindictive feud against his neighbor—who turns out to be his uncle. | |||||
| 57 | 10 | "Thanksgiving Until It Hurts" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Michelle Nader & Sid Youngers Story by: Bill Prady | November 23, 1999 |
| In an attempt to make Thanksgiving more enjoyable than last year's debacle (which we see in flashbacks), Dharma and Greg devise a plan to entirely avoid their families. When it becomes clear how much this has hurt everyone, the pair wind up more stuffed than any turkey after eating four Thanksgiving dinners: their own, one cooked (barely) by Kitty, another with Abby and Larry, and a fourth with Celia's family—who have a fight that top last year's. | |||||
| 58 | 11 | "Lawyers, Beer and Money" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Eddie Gorodetsky & Jonathan Schmock Story by: Jenna Bruce & Rachel Sweet | November 30, 1999 |
| While his fledgling independent law practice struggles, Greg feels emasculated when Dharma hits the jackpot in a TV commercial whose producers caught her in a late-night promo for Greg's business. | |||||
| 59 | 12 | "Looking for the Goodbars" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Fred Greenlee & Chuck Lorre Story by: Regina Stewart | December 14, 1999 |
| Worried that they've run out of friends, Dharma and Greg "interview" a series of potential couples to see who meets their strict requirements. | |||||
| 60 | 13 | "Drop Dead Gorgeous" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Rachel Sweet Story by: Chuck Lorre | January 11, 2000 |
| Finding that Greg is overwhelmed with paper work (and that her own efforts to help only lead to desktop carnal encounters), Dharma determines to hire him a first-rate legal secretary. She tries to get pointers from Greg's former secretary Marlene, but discovers that Marlene's only real skill is in dodging work. After submitting applicants to a battery of tests, both skill-related and New Age, Dharma finds the perfect secretary: the intelligent, caring, spiritually centered Kim—who also happens to be a former fashion model. Despite Jane's skepticism, Dharma insists she trusts Greg completely and goes out of her way to throw Kim & Greg together, going so far as to have her accompany Greg to a dance with Kitty and Edward while she goes to a Smothers Brothers vineyard jamboree with Abby and Larry. When the car brakes Kim supposedly had serviced fail, Dharma's trust looks like a fatal mistake... | |||||
| 61 | 14 | "Good Cop, Bad Daughter" | Randy Cordray | Teleplay by: Regina Stewart & Don Foster Story by: Chuck Lorre | January 25, 2000 |
| Dharma's friendship with two police officers gets her anti-establishment father Larry hot under the collar, and the family feud threatens to ruin Abby's surprise birthday party. | |||||
| 62 | 15 | "The Trouble with Troubadour" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Eddie Gorodetsky & Jonathan Schmock Story by: Chuck Lorre | February 8, 2000 |
| Dharma lends a helping hand to singer-songwriters Lyle Lovett and k.d. lang when their fame and fortune leaves them unfulfilled. Meanwhile, a sarcastic hotel clerk spoils plans for the couple's romantic Valentine's Day getaway. | |||||
| 63 | 16 | "Weekend At Larry's" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Michelle Nader Story by: Julie Ann Larson | February 15, 2000 |
| While spending the weekend at Dharma's parents' house, Greg fears they're in grave danger when an old family friend shows up unexpectedly—Nunzio and Stinky dig up his skeleton in Larry's garden. Meanwhile, Larry and Abby run into Edward and Kitty on a flight to Washington and discover that Edward is testifying before Congress on an environmental issue that Larry and Abby are protesting. | |||||
| 64 | 17 | "The Spy Who Said He Loved Me" | Amanda Bearse | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Regina Stewart Story by: Sid Youngers & Rachel Sweet | February 22, 2000 |
| Dharma runs into an old boyfriend, Scott, whose endless, high-flown tales of jet setting sound more and more like flights of fancy who turns out to be working for the government as a spy. Meanwhile, Greg's hernia becomes a popular topic for discussion and forces several trips to the doctor. | |||||
| 65 | 18 | "A Night to Remember" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Rachel Sweet | February 29, 2000 |
| Much to Greg's horror, Dharma tries to help Donald make a memorable evening of his first sexual experience. Meanwhile, Greg searches for memories from his childhood but decides he would rather remain in the present; and Larry develops temporary powers of recollection. | |||||
| 66 | 19 | "The Best Laid Plans" | Will Mackenzie | Teleplay by: Regina Stewart & Julie Ann Larson Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | March 14, 2000 |
| For the first time in her life, Dharma gets depressed about her sex life when she discovers that Greg can't make a move in the bedroom without checking his day planner first. Meanwhile, a depressed Greg confides in Pete, who convinces him the only logical explanation for the downturn in his sex life is that Dharma is seeing someone else. | |||||
| 67 | 20 | "Talkin' 'Bout My Regeneration" | Will Mackenzie | Teleplay by: Eddie Gorodetsky & Julie Ann Larson Story by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers | April 4, 2000 |
| Dharma's ritual of unburdening her sins every seven years reveals things that would be better off remaining a burden. Meanwhile, Larry convinces the Montgomery's maid, Celia, to go on strike, leading everyone to discover how much control Celia has over Kitty's personality. | |||||
| 68 | 21 | "Big Daddy" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady Story by: Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky | April 11, 2000 |
| Greg's old girlfriend Stephanie asks for his help in getting her son into Greg's old prep school; and once Dharma sets eyes on the boy, she becomes convinced that he is Greg's child. Larry is building the Gazebo he accidentally burned down. | |||||
| 69 | 22 | "Your Place Or Mine" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Jonathan Schmock Story by: Bill Prady | May 2, 2000 |
| After replacing her furniture with Greg's stored bachelor stuff, Dharma is a changed woman. But not necessarily for the better—she becomes strangely possessed with material ambition. Meanwhile, Edward finally rebels against the fact that even his private den is entirely decorated by Kitty. | |||||
| 70 | 23 | "Hell to the Chief" | Steven V. Silver | Regina Stewart & Rachel Sweet | May 9, 2000 |
| When Abby objects to being president by acclamation yet again of the educational co-op, she impulsively nominates Dharma to run against her, and both women are nonplussed when Dharma is instantly elected. While Abby tries to be supportive, Dharma sets about making changes, which backfire, convincing her that Abby is sabotaging her. Meanwhile, k.d. lang asks Greg for a small legal favor which quickly goes to Greg's head. | |||||
| 71 | 24 | "Be My Baby" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Regina Stewart Story by: Michelle Nader & Julie Ann Larson | May 16, 2000 |
| Dharma's vision of a baby sets her and Greg to officially start trying; Pete asks for Greg's help after getting fired; Abby celebrates the onset of menopause. | |||||
Season 4 (2000–01)
| No. in series | No. in season | Title | Directed By | Written By | Airdate |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 72 | 1 | "Mother and Daughter Reunion" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Susan Beavers & Rachel Sweet Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | October 10, 2000 |
| In the fourth-season opener, Abby's plans for the new baby rattle Dharma, because Abby's admission that she and Larry made mistakes raising Dharma – like letting Timothy Leary be her babysitter – threatens Dharma's memories of her childhood as idyllic. When Abby's pregnancy is threatened by complications, Dharma feels obscurely responsible, until a visit from the spirit of her dead friend George sets her straight. Meanwhile, Greg's advice helps Pete and Jane make a move to repair their crumbling marriage: they announce they are getting divorced. | |||||
| 73 | 2 | "Love, Honor, and Ole!" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Don Foster Story by: Chuck Lorre & Jenna Bruce | October 24, 2000 |
| Dharma tries to reconnect with her old life by planning a wild road trip to Mexico with her friends. When Greg decides to go along for the ride, Dharma's friends are less than pleased. Meanwhile, Larry lands a job as a night security guard with Edward's company in order to get medical insurance for the baby. | |||||
| 74 | 3 | "Playing the Field" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Jenna Bruce Story by: Don Foster & Julie Ann Larson | October 31, 2000 |
| Greg fouls out as part of his wife's New Age softball team, while Dharma learns that Edward's sporting a new lady around town, and it turns out to be an elderly lady at a senior citizens center. | |||||
| 75 | 4 | "Hell No, Greg Can't Go" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Bob Dolan Smith | November 14, 2000 |
| A small war breaks out as Dharma stages a protest to halt Greg's plans to enlist in the Army. But once he does, the legal eagle's stuffy style has the troops ready to boot him out of boot camp. | |||||
| 76 | 5 | "Midwife Crisis" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Rachel Sweet Story by: Chuck Lorre | November 21, 2000 |
| Abby's labor is a real pain for Dharma when she must share midwife duty with a celebrated author well-versed in childbirth. Meanwhile, Larry's also acting like a brat, after Kitty and Edward present the expectant parents with a new van. | |||||
| 77 | 6 | "Sleepless in San Francisco" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Dava Savel Story by: Susan Beavers & Bob Dolan Smith | November 28, 2000 |
| Abby turns a blind eye when Dharma goes the extra mile to help care for the new baby in the Finklestein family. | |||||
| 78 | 7 | "Mad Secretaries and Englishmen" | Robby Benson | Teleplay by: Julie Ann Larson & David Regal Story by: Bill Prady & Eddie Gorodetsky | December 5, 2000 |
| Dharma & Greg's love life suffers because neither of them can keep from helping other people with their love problems, including Greg's crazy, lovesick secretary Marlene. Their romantic getaway gets postponed so Dharma can set Marlene up with Jane's flaky ex. | |||||
| 79 | 8 | "Charma Loves Greb" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Dava Savel Story by: Bill Prady | December 12, 2000 |
| Dharma realizes she should have left well enough alone when Greg's surprise party nearly brings the Finklesteins and Montgomerys to blows. | |||||
| 80 | 9 | "Boxing Dharma" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Rachel Sweet & Julie Ann Larson Story by: Bill Prady | December 19, 2000 |
| Dharma regretfully taps into her hidden anger and a penchant for boxing when a woman challenges her to a barroom brawl. Meanwhile, Larry takes his familial relationship with the boss for granted. | |||||
| 81 | 10 | "Dutch Treat" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Jenna Bruce Story by: Rachel Sweet | January 9, 2001 |
| When Dharma and Greg disagree about playing role model to their young college friend Donald, they decide to experiment with independence for the first time since their marriage began. When things finally get really tense, only an obscure dream and a visit from Abraham Lincoln can close the divide. | |||||
| 82 | 11 | "The Box" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Dava Savel Story by: Susan Beavers | January 16, 2001 |
| Dharma begins to come unglued when she can't figure out what Greg has locked away in his box of mementos; and Larry makes a big deal out of finding a little something for Abby. | |||||
| 83 | 12 | "Let's Get Fiscal" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady Story by: Sid Youngers & Julie Ann Larson | January 30, 2001 |
| Dharma regretfully seeks Edward's business advice when the co-op's slush fund comes up empty, and Greg works with a very successful attorney whom Dharma used to date. | |||||
| 84 | 13 | "Educating Dharma (Part I)" | Chuck Lorre | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Susan Beavers | February 6, 2001 |
| When Dharma decides to go to college, she meets a professor (Kevin Sorbo) who stirs some feelings that could disrupt her marriage. Meanwhile Greg and Pete try to get an academy student straight. | |||||
| 85 | 14 | "Educating Dharma (Part II)" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Jenna Bruce Story by: Susan Beavers | February 13, 2001 |
| Dharma must come to terms with her own guilt about Charlie, and resolve which direction the relationship will take. | |||||
| 86 | 15 | "Dharma Does Dallas" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Chuck Lorre | February 20, 2001 |
| Dharma gets to know Greg's dysfunctional cousins and in-laws just in time to keep Edward from making a huge mistake in choosing his successor. | |||||
| 87 | 16 | "Judy and Greg" | Jonathan Schmock | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Sid Youngers | March 13, 2001 |
|
Fleeing from Kitty's talk on popular restoration of Victoria architecture, Dharma drags Greg into a neighboring high-school reunion for the class of '81, assuming the identities of no-shows Todd and Judy. She is not pleased to discover that everyone present loathes "Judy" for the terrible things she did to them in high school, and decides the universe wants her to make amends by visiting each of Judy's former victims and apologizing. When this doesn't work out, she tracks down the actual Judy for a confrontation. Meanwhile, Larry offers Edward tips on how to revitalize the sexual side of his marriage, and encourages Abby to do the same for Kitty—but their advice ("let the other make the first move") leads to stalemate. | |||||
| 88 | 17 | "Do the Hustle" | Gail Mancuso | Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Sid Youngers Story by: Jenna Bruce | March 27, 2001 |
| Dharma finds a way to bond with Kitty – and score some cash – after unleashing her mother-in-law's secret skills as a pool player. Greg, meanwhile, races around town to find a replacement rat after killing his wife's beloved house pest. | |||||
| 89 | 18 | "For Pete's Sake" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Susan Beavers & Julie Ann Larson Story by: Bill Prady | April 3, 2001 |
| In an effort to boost Pete's confidence, Dharma makes the naïve mistake of convincing Greg to leave the practice in Pete's very incapable hands while Greg is away on his two-week army reserve duty. Meanwhile Dharma creates a pass-through but it is not easy as she thinks it is. | |||||
| 90 | 19 | "Kitty Dearest" | Joel Murray | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Jenna Bruce Story by: Chuck Lorre | April 10, 2001 |
| Greg loses his cool with Kitty after another one of her annoying charity events, creating a cold front between the stubborn mother and son. While Dharma tries to bring back the love, Kitty goes out and gets herself a better little boy. | |||||
| 91 | 20 | "The Story of K" | Thomas Gibson | Teleplay by: Bill Prady and Susan Beavers Story by: Chuck Lorre | April 24, 2001 |
| Kitty's swing at writing erotica leaves Edward exhausted, while her editor (Dharma) finds that the work suffers when the couple plays too much. Meanwhile, Greg avoids the issue entirely by submersing himself into building a model ship. | |||||
| 92 | 21 | "Pride and Prejudice" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Rachel Sweet & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Tor Alexander Valenza | May 1, 2001 |
| Dharma's paranoia reaches new heights when she discovers her own prejudice against little people. Greg reunites with an old college friend. Larry and Abby try to play bridge with Edward and Kitty. | |||||
| 93 | 22 | "How This Happened" | Jonathan Schmock | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Bill Prady & Rachel Sweet | May 8, 2001 |
| While converting an abandoned piece of land owned by Edward's company into a community garden, Dharma discovers a cash deposit bag lost decades ago. The bag traces back to a man who was falsely accused of stealing it (Edward Asner) and subsequently fired, setting Dharma on a mission to right a wrong. | |||||
| 94 | 23 | "The End of the Innocence (Part I)" | Ted Lange | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Rachel Sweet Story by: Chuck Lorre & Susan Beavers | May 15, 2001 |
| Dharma drags Greg to a kooky couples counselor after he finds a lost love letter from her old college tutor. But when she refuses to avoid her other man, Greg takes a stand that could cause a parting of ways for the mismatched pair. | |||||
| 94 | 24 | "The End of the Innocence (Part II)" | Joel Murray | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady | May 22, 2001 |
| After catching Dharma innocently hanging out with her old college tutor---and failed suitor---Charlie, an enraged Greg moves out. Then the misunderstanding turns into a crisis as they both get caught up in the planning of their mutual friends' impending wedding, compelling Greg to seriously reevaluate his own crazy marriage. But when he finally sees the light, it may be too late. | |||||
Season 5 (2001–02)
| No. in series | No. in season | Title | Directed By | Written By | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 96 | 1 | "Intensive Caring" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Don Foster & David Babcock Story by: Bill Prady | September 25, 2001 |
|
The fifth season begins in the aftermath of last May's car crash, with both sets of parents arriving at the hospital and Dharma just out of surgery and groggy from anesthesia. The car accident has left Dharma with a fractured hip and temporarily using a wheelchair. Greg, who fared better with just a few minor cuts, mostly feels guilt, and tries to maintain a "structured" approach to Dharma's recovery which, unfortunately for her, doesn't allow for skipping physical therapy appointments in favor of wheelchair-tongue-depressor relay races down the hospital halls. For her part, Abby believes that crystals and chants around her daughter's bed might help. Larry calls it a "healing ceremony". | |||||
| 97 | 2 | "With a Little Help From My Friend" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Rachel Sweet & Susan Beavers Story by: Bill Prady | September 25, 2001 |
| Dharma decides that her accident must be a manifestation of the universe shuffling her cosmic deck of cards so that she can help people—from the hospital, physical therapy, insurance company, etc.—whom she otherwise wouldn't have met. Yet while Dharma loves giving help to others, she's not nearly as fond of accepting it for herself, even when she's in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Greg deals with an insurance problem—the company has paid them twice by mistake, but won't listen to his attempts to explain. This episode marks the final appearance of former series regular Jane (Shae D'Lyn). | |||||
| 98 | 3 | "Papa Was Almost a Rolling Stone" | Joel Murray | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Sid Youngers Story by: Eddie Gorodetsky | October 2, 2001 |
| Dharma learns that her dad, Larry, used to sing and play guitar in a band but gave it all up when she was born. Feeling guilty, she tries to convince him to perform again. Meanwhile, Larry and Abby set up some old pirate radio broadcasting equipment in Dharma's living room to give her something to do while she's recuperating. Initially, Greg scoffs at "Radio Dharma," but one on-air debate with a caller later and he's hooked. Meanwhile, Edward's old running suit hits a sour note with Kitty when it is discovered "lost" in a box of Greg's old possessions, and Edward refuses to stop wearing it. | |||||
| 99 | 4 | "Sexual Healing" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Don Foster Story by: Jamie Gorenberg | October 9, 2001 |
| At the same time that Dharma's doctor gives her permission to resume sexual relations, Greg sees their totaled car for the first time since the accident and learns that the insurance adjuster ruled it a case of reckless driving. Now completely guilt-ridden and overly cautious, Greg's unable to enjoy Dharma's romantic advances. Meanwhile, Edward wants Larry to return the rundown desk chair of his that Kitty attempted to throw out. While at first annoyed by Larry's insistence that they play games for the ownership of the chair, Edward grows to enjoy Larry's company. | |||||
| 100 | 5 | "Without Reservations" | Jonathan Schmock | Teleplay by: Del Shores & Jenna Bruce Story by: Michelle Nader | October 16, 2001 |
| Greg doesn't put out a welcome mat when Dharma turns their place into a temporary bed-and-breakfast. Meanwhile Kitty is having a hippo habit crises. | |||||
| 101 | 6 | "Try to Remember This Kind of September" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: David Babcock & Maxine Lapiduss Story by: Bill Prady | October 23, 2001 |
| Dharma finds herself inadvertently trying to compete with a visiting childhood friend. Dharma and September grew up together in a commune, and September has remained loyal to her nonconformist ways, such as preparing a salad with greens that "were growing in the cracks in the sidewalk" and singing songs taught her by Nelson Mandela. Feeling guilty over how much her own life has changed, Dharma decides to get back to basics. First, she simplifies her wardrobe; then she wonders what else she and Greg can do without—like maybe electricity, or at least Greg's beloved television (just before the Super Bowl). But what worries her most is a suspicion that September may have designs on Larry. And she's right—but they're not what she fears. | |||||
| 102 | 7 | "Used Karma" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Rachel Sweet Story by: David Babcock | October 30, 2001 |
| When Greg starts to dress and act strangely after driving the used car Dharma recently bought, she worries he's been possessed by the spirit of the car's previous owner, a petty criminal and gambler who met an untimely death. Meanwhile, Edward has Larry set up a security camera at his house to help catch the person (Kitty) who eggs his house every Halloween, but the "trick" is still on him. | |||||
| 103 | 8 | "Home is Where the Art Is" | Ted Lange | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Ed Yeager Story by: Don Foster | November 13, 2001 |
| An old performance artist friend of Dharma's who convinces her to co-star with him in his latest work: To live "on display" in an art gallery 24 hours a day for a week. Needless to say, Greg's not thrilled with her decision, and father-in-law Larry's moving in with him does not help matters. | |||||
| 104 | 9 | "Wish We Weren't Here" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Jenna Bruce Story by: Maxine Lapiduss | November 20, 2001 |
| Bad weather grounds Dharma and Greg's plans of flying to Fort Wayne Indiana. As they are stuck, they have some interesting events, denying to many connecting flights, snow in Indiana. Meanwhile Abby is hosting a surprise Thanksgiving at Dharma and Greg's house and Kitty and Edward are inviting Kitty and Edward insist cater a Thanksgiving. Dharma is planning a wedding for a couple who plans are changed. Guest Stars: Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo | |||||
| 105 | 10 | "Dream A Little Dream of Her" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Susan Beavers & Del Shores Story by: David Babcock & Rachel Sweet | November 27, 2001 |
| Dharma tries to learn the identity of Greg's fantasy girl; Greg's truthfulness upsets things at his parents' place. Meanwhile Dharma is trying to plan a surprise trip to Greg when plans are charged when Kitty and Edward are going. | |||||
| 106 | 11 | "A Fish Tale" | Thomas Gibson | Teleplay by: Rachel Sweet & Jamie Gorenberg Story by: Ed Yeager | December 4, 2001 |
| Animal-rights activist Abby bans Greg from the Finkelstein home when she learns he and Edward are going fishing. Meanwhile Larry's mom comes to visit for Harry's birthday and will hell break loose? | |||||
| 107 | 12 | "Previously on Dharma & Greg" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: David Babcock & Susan Beavers Story by: Bill Brady & Maxine Lapiduss | December 11, 2001 |
| Is Greg proposing to another woman and Dharma bringing another man home to meet the folks? This landmark flashback episode takes place six months prior to the series pilot and shows Dharma and Greg's lives before they met and married on their first date. Share in Kitty's chagrin as Greg breaks up with his debutante fiancée, and join Larry as he watches Dharma leave a great guy who "refuses to get a job. | |||||
| 108 | 13 | "Protecting the Ego-System" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Ed Yeager Story by: Bill Prady & David Babcock | January 8, 2002 |
| Kitty brings Dharma to the ground-breaking ceremony of her arch-nemesis Teensy Manhart's new outdoor amphitheater. But Dharma takes a flying leap into the path of the spade in protest when she realizes the theater's intended site is a precious wetland. Abby, Larry and Ed Begley, Jr., a well-known environmental activist, join in her protest. | |||||
| 109 | 14 | "Near-Death of a Salesman" | Joel Murray | Teleplay by: Eddie Gorodetsky & Jenna Bruce Story by: Don Foster & Susan Beavers | March 5, 2002 |
| A heart attack scare during Larry's business pitch for his chili causes Edward to reminisce about a simpler time in his life, when he wasn't a high-pressured "captain of industry" merely acquiring and merging other companies. Trying to persuade him to adopt an easier life, Dharma is taken aback when Edward seizes command of a mall sports shoe outlet owned by his company and happily settles in as a crackerjack shoe salesman—until Kitty finds out. Meanwhile, picking up papers that need Edward's signature, Greg gets a taste of what life would be like as his father's business successor; and realizes (as Kitty angrily tells Dharma) that the real reason Edward hasn't retired is because he is waiting for Greg to take his place. Dharma sympathizes with Greg about abandoning the practice he has built up over the past year—but since this seems to consist of crabby Marlene mismanaging the office and Pete "teaching" three gorgeous young women a "course" in sexual harassment, perhaps the transition won't be so hard after all. | |||||
| 110 | 15 | "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's ... My Wife" | Robert Berlinger | Teleplay by: Susan Beavers & Jamie Gorenberg Story by: Bill Prady & Eddie Gorodetsky | March 12, 2002 |
| Dharma is the inspiration for her nerdy neighbor/admirer's new comic book heroine, the Blonde Tornado, a sexy, crime-fighting superwoman. While Dharma enjoys her newfound stardom, Greg's life whirls out of control after a newspaper photo of a burglary hails her as a real life hero and him as her cowardly sidekick. | |||||
| 111 | 16 | "I Think, Therefore I Am in Trouble" | Chuck Lorre | Teleplay by: Maxine Lapiduss & Jamie Gorenberg Story by: Chuck Lorre | March 19, 2002 |
| Supermodel Claudia Schiffer guest stars as Gretchen, a drop-dead gorgeous new lawyer in Greg's office about whom he's having sexual fantasies. Guilt-ridden over his inappropriate thoughts—especially since it's his "four-and-a-half-year anniversary" with Dharma—Greg tries desperately to get Gretchen off his mind, to no avail. Meanwhile Dharma has problems with her replacement yoga teacher who is popular with her students. | |||||
| 112 | 17 | "She's with the Band" | Jonathan Schmock | Teleplay by: Del Shores & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Sid Youngers & Ed Yeager | March 26, 2002 |
| After suddenly joining a rock band that includes the rebellious teenage daughter of one of Greg's clients, Dharma invites the musicians to live with her and Greg. | |||||
| 113 | 18 | "Mission: Implausible" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & David Babcock Story by: Jamie Gorenberg | April 2, 2002 |
|
A visit from Rick, a younger alumnus from Greg's law school, launches an unsuspecting Greg into the middle of a crazy college game with very specific rules developed by "seriously drunk" undergraduates. Despite Greg's reluctance to engage in a college prank at this stage in his life, Dharma leaves him no choice when she rallies the gang to help him win back his championship title in a relatively amusing parody of Mission: Impossible. Meanwhile, security guard Larry is disturbed when his supervisor Walter points out that he gets special treatment because his daughter is married to the boss's son. When Larry demands Edward rescind all special treatment, Walter obligingly fires Larry. | |||||
| 114 | 19 | "This Diamond Ring" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Bill Prady & Don Foster Story by: Jamie Gorenberg | April 2, 2002 |
| When Dharma discovers that her drivers license has expired, Greg demands that she be a little more responsible—which is when Dharma discovers she has lost the priceless family heirloom diamond ring Kitty gave her. She discovers it on the roof, coated with tar; and when she takes it to a jeweler for cleaning, she learns it is, in fact, just a really good fake, leading to a confrontation with Kitty. Meanwhile, Pete turns to Dharma for help in getting Gretchen to go out with him. Her simple, sound advice works... Soon Gretchen is head-over-heels for Pete—and he can't stand it. Also, we see Marlene as a judgmental book clerk, and learn that Greg has finally fired her. | |||||
| 115 | 20 | "The Tooth Is Out There" | Asaad Kelada | Teleplay by: Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky Story by: Jenna Bruce | April 9, 2002 |
| Dharma encourages Larry to ask his brother Herb for a loan to buy Larry's favorite conspiracy bookshop; when strange things start to go wrong, Dharma suspects that Herb is plotting to undermine Larry's success. Her efforts to uncover the plot mean she must undergo multiple dental procedures at Herb's office, but seem to be justified when the store mysteriously burns down just before the grand re-opening. Meanwhile, Kitty tries to revitalize her love life by making Edward jealous—claiming that her car attendant keeps leaving red roses on the seat for her. | |||||
| 116 | 21 | "The Parent Trap" | J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Susan Beavers & Del Shores Story by: Maxine Lapiduss | April 16, 2002 |
| While Kitty prepares to renew her marriage vows, Dharma entertains Marlene's parents who is just like her. Greg is trying to get along with Marlene. | |||||
| 117 | 22 | "Tuesday's Child" | Joel Murray | Teleplay by: Sid Youngers & Jenna Bruce Story by: David Babcock | April 23, 2002 |
| A little girl forms an attachment to Dharma and Greg; Kitty is ordered to perform community service. | |||||
| 118 119 | 23 24 | "The Mamas and the Papas" | Asaad Kelada J.D. Lobue | Teleplay by: Maxine Lapiduss & Ed Yeager Story by: Bill Prady Teleplay by: Don Foster & Del Shores Story by: David Babcock | April 30, 2002 |
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In the series finale, Dharma and Greg find themselves once again trying to make peace between their polar opposite parents when an argument breaks out over whether the couple will vacation with the Finkelsteins or the Montgomerys. Dharma tries to appease both sides by arranging for everyone to spend the weekend at the Montgomery’s mountain chalet, but when the usual bickering and insults kick into high gear, it finally sends Dharma and Greg over the edge. Meanwhile, back at the office, Pete is left in charge of a routine SEC inspection, but when the agent turns out to be beautiful and female, he invents wild stories about inside trading. Dharma & Greg get stuck in a snowstorm after leaving the chalet and begin to wonder how their diverse upbringings will affect them as parents. | |||||
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