Chinese honorifics

In the Confucian philosophical classic of 易傳·繫辭上 (yìzhuàn xìcí shàng) or "Yizhuan - Xici"—a latter day commentary on the book of 易經 (yìjīng) or "I Ching" ("Book of Changes"), it is stated "天尊地卑，乾坤定矣。卑高以陳，貴賤位矣。" -- it was believed in ancient China that both the order of nature, i.e., 天尊地卑 (heaven be above, earth be beneath), and from it the derived order of man, were long predetermined and dictated by the heavens, e.g., 君尊臣卑 (king be above/superior, court officials be beneath/subordinate), 男尊女卑 (man superior, woman subordinate), 夫尊婦卑 (husband superior, wife subordinate), and 父尊子卑 (father superior, son subordinate) etc. Every king and their subject, every man and woman, every husband and wife, and every father and son, should naturally follow this predetermined order and practice proper 禮儀 (lǐyí) and conduct. As a large part of 禮儀 (lǐyí), proper speech was of great importance.

Therefore in speech, among other forms of 禮儀 (lǐyí) and social behaviors, the "subordinate" or "inferior" would employ self-deprecating and humble language towards self and respectful language towards the "superior" as a recognition of their relative places in the "natural" hierarchy. On the other hand, the "superiors" would often also use humble language as a display of humility and virtue. Unsurprisingly, the characters 尊~ and 卑~ also became honorific and humble prefixes, respectively. For example, the humble substitute 卑下 (bēixià)(this inferior one below) would be used, among other deprecating substitutes, in place of the pronoun "I", and the honorific substitute 尊上 (zūnshàng) (the superior one above) would replace the pronoun "you" (later also used for "your parents").

Related to 尊卑 (zūnbēi) is the concept of 貴賤 (guìjiàn). Those with power, money and status were 貴 (worthy, honorable), and those without were 賤 (worthless, despised). These two characters also became the honorific and humble prefixes 貴~ and 賤~. Examples: 貴國 (your honorable country), 貴庚 (your honorable age), 貴姓 (your honorable surname), 貴公司 (your honorable company), and 賤姓 (my unworthy surname), 賤民 (the unworthy and despised commoner), 賤妾 (this unworthy wife of yours), 賤内 (my unworthy wife), etc. 貴~ remains a commonly used honorific prefix to this day.

Likewise, those of a junior 輩份 (bèifèn) (i.e., 晚輩 (wǎnbèi) or 後輩 (hòubèi)) would show respect and deference to their 前輩 (qiánbeì) ("senior") , 長輩 (zhǎngbeì) or 先輩 (xiānbeì) ("elder"), and 祖輩 (zǔbeì) ("ancestors"). 辈分 (bèifèn) is not necessarily based on age, for example, a younger person who entered a school or profession before an older person would be considered the 前輩 (qiánbeì). A person who is much younger than his/her nephew in a large extended family would still be a 長輩 (zhǎngbeì) to the nephew. If two people are of the same 輩份 (bèifèn) (i.e., 平輩 (píngbeì) or 同輩 (tóngbeì)), then either experience or age would determine the hierarchy depending on the situation.

Contemporary Chinese mostly abandoned the 尊卑 (zūnbēi) and 貴賤 (guìjiàn) distinctions (especially 卑 and 賤) in its honorific practice, but retains elements of the 輩份 (bèifèn) distinctions. For example, the suffixes ~姐 (jiě) (Lit. elder sister) and ~哥 (gē) (Lit. elder brother) are commonly used by junior people when addressing their 平辈 (píngbeì) seniors. Those of the next higher 輩份 (bèifèn) (i.e., 長輩 (zhǎngbeì)) acquire the suffixes ~姨，~叔 etc. Those even higher in 輩份 (bèifèn) receive the suffixes ~婆，~公，~伯 etc. When addressing a 平輩 (píngbeì) junior, the suffixes ~妹, ~弟 are used. While these suffixes derived from kinship names, they are commonly used between unrelated people. Example: when addressing a group leader at work whose name is 芳 (fāng)，the less experienced person in the group might call her 芳姐 Fāng-jiě. Because these suffixes have an age connotation, their use and application are not always appropriate. Variations were created such as ~小哥哥 (Lit. little elder brother)， ~小姐姐 (Lit. little elder sister) to soften age connotations. A wrong 輩份 (bèifèn) suffix can also be used intentionally to please or belittle another person. For example, some older women may prefer a ～姨 rather than ～婆 suffix, and a middle age woman may prefer to still be called ~姐 rather than ~姨. When these suffixes are used without a preceding name, or when a name is not complemented by one of these suffixes, the intimacy prefix 阿 (ā)~ is often added. 阿 (ā) is a functional particle without an actual meaning by itself, but when combined with a name (e.g., 阿芳，阿強) or with one of the 輩份 (bèifèn) related suffixes (e.g., 阿哥，阿姨，阿伯，阿婆), 阿 (ā) adds a sense of intimacy (i.e., closeness, affection) with the addressed. 阿 (ā) can be used together with a 輩份 (bèifèn) suffix, e.g., 阿芳姐 (ā-Fāng-jiě)，阿强哥 (ā-Qiáng-gē). Other related honorific modifiers include 老~，大~，小~，~總，~董, see noun complements section below for more details.

Like nouns and proper nouns, some Chinese verbs can also be complemented with an honorific modifier. For example, the verbs 告 (gào) ("to tell"), 還 (huán) ("to return")，陪 (péi) ("to accompany"), 勸 (quàn) ("to urge")，送 (sòng) ("to gift") can be complemented by the honorific prefix 奉 (fèng)~ (Lit. to offer respectfully) to form the more polite versions 奉告 (I respectfully tell you), 奉還 (I respectfully return to you), 奉陪 (I respectfully accompany you), 奉勸 (I respectfully urge you), and 奉送 (I respectfully gift you). Another example is the honorific prefix 恭 (gōng)~ (Lit. "look forward to respectfully"), e.g., 恭賀 (I respectfully congratulate you), 恭候 (I respectfully await you), 恭請 (I respectfully invite you)，恭迎 (I respectfully welcome you). The addition of the honorific prefix turns these verbs into a politer version. Unlike adverbs, the prefixes are often verbs themselves, and the compounded honorific verb functions as a single language unit (i.e., a single verb). Other common prefixes for verbs and verb examples are summarized in the verb complements section below.

In practice, many of the honorific compound words are used as canned polite word alternatives, rather than being grammatically composed as people speak. There is not a systemic rule in Chinese grammar to alter words (e.g., conjugation or other inflections) for the purpose of increasing speech politeness, though the same effect can often be achieved. However, in letters (書信 (shūxìn)，家書 (jiāshū)) and official documents (公文 (gōngwén)), a complex system of honorifics and rule sets exists.

敬語 (jìngyǔ) - Respectful Language employs modified words or substitutes called 敬辭 (jìngcí) (Lit. respectful vocabulary) that convey a sense of respect for the addressee. For example:

• 令愛 (lìng'ài): Lit. the beautiful and beloved -- Your daughter; the honorific prefix 令~ replaces the pronoun "your".
• 令千金 (lìngqiānjīn): Lit. the beautiful one who is worth a thousand gold -- Your daughter.
• 貴寶號 (guìbǎohào): Lit. the highly valued precious banner—Your business; the honorific prefix 貴~ replaces the pronoun "your", and the prefix 寳~ modifies 號 to form an honorific substitute for someone's business.

謙語 (qiānyǔ) - Humble Language employs modified words or substitutes called 謙辭 (qiāncí) (Lit. humble vocabulary) that convey a sense of self-deprecation and humility for the speaker. For example:

• 在下 (zàixià): Lit. this one who is beneath you -- used as pronoun "I"
• 寒舍 (hánshè): Lit. Humble and Insignificant Residence -- my home
• 賤内 (jiànnèi): Lit. the worthless despised one inside—my wife

婉語 (wǎnyǔ) - Indirect Language employs words called 婉辭 (wǎncí) (Lit. indirect vocabulary - e.g., euphemisms) that are used to hide or beautify an otherwise unfortunate event or action. For example:

• 歸天 (guītiān): Lit. return to heaven -- to have died
• 挂彩 (guàcaǐ): Lit. to hang colorful decorations—to have been shot
• 冤家 (yuānjia): Lit. destined/mortal enemies—often used to mean lovers

客套語 (kètàoyǔ) - Courteous Language employs specific words or phrases that have courteous and praising connotations intended to flatter the addressee. For example:

• 不敢高攀 (bùgǎn gāopān): Lit. dare not climb up high to you -- I dare not compare myself to you
• 久仰大名 (jiúyǎng dàmíng): Lit. long admired big name -- I've known and admired you for a long time; used when meeting someone you've heard of (not necessarily admired).
• 高擡貴手 (gāotái guìshǒu): Lit. lift up high honorable hand -- Please be magnanimous and don't hurt me (i.e., stop doing what you intend to do to me)

雅語 (yáyǔ) - Elegant Language employs elegant or beautiful expressions and words in lieu of everyday casual words and phrases to describe people, objects, actions or concepts. It is often used on occasions where casual language may be inappropriate. Due to the lack of equivalent expressions in English, the translated phrases often do not convey the same sense of beauty or elegance. Examples:

• 紅顔知己 (hóngyán zhījǐ): Lit. red face / know self—beautiful beloved girlfriend ("red" refers to the make up or the natural color on a beautiful young woman's face; "know self" means someone who knows one well as in the close friendship between lovers). Compared to the casual alternative: 情人 or 女朋友 (lover / girlfriend)
• 請用茶 (qǐng yòngchá): Lit please use tea—please have some tea. Compared to the casual alternative: 喝茶吧 (Lit. "drink tea")
• 請慢用 (qǐng mànyòng): Lit. please take your time to use—please enjoy [your meal]. Compared to the casual alternative: 你们慢慢吃 (Lit. "you guys eat slowly")
• 請代為美言幾句 (qǐng dàiwéi měiyán jǐjù): Lit. please on my behalf beautify some of your language—please say something nice about me/my situation in front of... Compared to the casual alternative: 幫我說幾句好話啊 (Lit. "help me say some good words")

When referring to oneself in ancient China, people avoided first-person pronouns ("I", "me", "we", and "us"). Instead, a third-person descriptor was used, which varied according to the situation. Referring to oneself in the third-person could be used arrogantly as well, to assert one's superiority or dominance over one's audience. This was most common in the imperial middle management – the imperial consorts, the military, and the imperial bureaucracy (e.g., 本官，本將軍，本宮，本大爺), with the emperor instead often describing himself in sorrowful terms out of respect for his deceased father (e.g., 孤王 "This Orphaned King"，寡人 "This Lonesome Man").

For the same reasons, and to a much lesser degree, the first-person pronouns are sometimes avoided also in contemporary usage. Often, the generic self-referencing prefix 本~，该~， or a humble / self-deprecating prefix such as 敝~ is used with a third-person descriptor, for example: 本人是来自甲公司的，敝公司想跟您做个访问。-- Literally, "This person is from company A, this unkempt company would like to do an interview with you." translated to "I am from company A, we would like to do an interview with you."

Provided below are some first-person honorific substitutes and usages. Their relevancy (i.e., contemporary vs. classical) and gender association are also indicated. Plurals ("we", "us") in classical Chinese are formed by the suffixes ~等 or ~众人 etc., and in contemporary Chinese by ~们. A "classical usage" designation does not preclude usage in contemporary speech or writing, as contemporary Chinese often incorporates classical elements, though it is much less likely to be seen or used in the contemporary context.

The following directly replace the pronoun "I" in usage by commoners or people of low social status. Example: rather than 吾(我)以為此方不可 - "I think this idea will not work" one would say 愚以為此方不可 - "This unintelligent one thinks this idea will not work."

The following directly replace the first person pronoun "I" in usage by the royalty. For kings and emperors, gender is assumed to be male for simplicity, because the overwhelming majority of Chinese kings and emperors were men, with only a few exceptions. Sometimes the generic self-referencing prefix 本~ was used with the speaker's title. For example, 本贵人。

The following directly replace the first person pronoun "I" in usage by government and military officials.

The following directly replace the first person pronoun "I" in usage by the elderly.

The following directly replace the first person pronoun "I" in usage by scholars and monks.

In some parts of China, the following are used in place of "I" to indicate contempt for the listener, to assert the superiority of oneself, or when teasing:

• 老子 (Lǎozi, not to be confused with Laozi the philosopher, written the same way): I, your dad (referring to oneself as superior)
• 爺·爷 (Yé): I, your lord. Used in parts of Northern China
• 恁父 (Hokkien: lín-pē): I, your dad (referring to oneself as superior).
• 姑奶奶 (Gūnǎinai): lit. great-aunt. Also used to disparage a woman seen as self-aggrandizing. [3]

When used towards a person less well known or on formal occasions, these terms are considered to be incredibly rude, and are usually used to purposely disgrace the addressee; however, it is less of an issue when spoken among close friends, though even some friends might still be offended by their use.

Similarly, the possessive case "my" and "our" are avoided by virtue of being associated to the humble self. This is often achieved by a humble or self-deprecating prefix, while in other cases by an honorific substitute as described below.

Humble substitutes are used by people when referring to their own family or family members, and replace terms such as my/our family, my wife, my husband, my/our father, my/our mother, my/our son, my/our daughter etc.

The generic self-referencing prefix 本~ or humble prefix 敝~ is prepended to the speaker's affiliated organization to form an honorific. For example, 敝校 ("our school"), 敝公司 ("our company"), and 本單位("our unit") are used instead of a plural pronoun (E.g. 我們- in 我們學校，我們公司).

The following are commonly found in spiritual tablets and gravestones for family members.

The same concept of hierarchical speech and etiquette affects terms of address towards others. Often, the same honorific substitutes can be used for both second-person and third-person.

In contemporary Chinese (both spoken and written), the second-person singular pronoun 你 (nǐ, "you") can be substituted with its polite form 您 (nǐn, "you" [cherished]) to express politeness. In some cases, the addressee's profession or title can be used. In others, specific honorific substitutes are used, e.g., 閣下 (Lit. beneath your pavilion) is used instead of the pronoun "you" to show respect. Historically, many other honorific usages existed.

In contemporary usage, the pronouns 你/您，你們，他/她，and 他/她們 are sometimes appended redundantly to the honorific substitute. For example, when saying 請閣下您慢走, 您 is optionally inserted after 閣下. This is likely out of a contemporary habit to use actual pronouns in speech.

Provided below are some of the better known second-person or third-person honorific substitutes and usages.

The following were honorifics used when people addressed the Royalty in ancient China. Often, imperial titles were also used as pronoun substitutes. For example, the emperor may address the empress by her title 皇后. A royal servant may address a princess as 公主. Not all royal titles are listed.

The following were used when addressing government and military officials. Often, their title (e.g., 丞相，将军) can be used alone or as a suffix after their family name to form an honorific.

The following honorifics are used to address acquaintances or friends.

The following are used between family members. Also see Familial Honorifics section below.

Similarly, the possessive case "your" is avoided. This is often achieved by the honorific prefixes 令~, 尊~, 贤~, 贵~ as described below.

The following honorifics are used to show respect when referencing the addressee's family members.

The honorific prefixes 贵~ and 宝~ are often used.

Often, the addressee's profession or title (or as a suffix after their name) is used as an honorific form of address. Below are some common titles.

Below is a list of common honorific prefixes and suffixes used with nouns and proper nouns to show intimacy, humility, honor, or respect. Some may have shown up in pronoun discussions. While noun modifiers are technically adjectives, honorific prefixes/suffixes are different from normal adjectives in that they become part of the noun in usage, and the meaning of the modifying prefix/suffix is usually not taken literally - only added functionally to show respect or humility. Because Chinese words are usually formed also by combining multiple root characters (each with a literal meaning), it is not always immediately apparent when using a polite version of a word that an honorific modifier is in use.

Similar to nouns, verbs can be complemented with honorific prefixes to form more polite versions. Below are some examples.

Additional 敬辞 (jìngcí) examples:

• 衛冕 verb: honorific to describe when someone is able to retain first ranking in a competition
• 駕臨 verb: honorific that describes someone's visit, e.g., 恭候大驾光临
• 名諱 noun: respectful version of the word "name", used with names of respected people
• 璧謝 verb: honorific for returning a gift and offering thanks
• 斧正 verb: used to ask someone to correct one's writing
• 借重 verb: leverage someone else's ability to help oneself
• 鼻祖 noun: honorific for pioneers in a field
• 高足 noun: honorific for someone's disciple
• 鼎力 adverb: indicate to someone they have your full support

Additional 谦辞 (qiāncí) examples:

• 承乏 verb: humble word indicating you took a position only because it hasn't been filled by someone more qualified yet
• 綿薄 adjective: humble word to describe the help you offer someone
• 陋见, 浅见 noun: humble way to describe one's opinion
• 错爱 noun: humble way to describe how someone has been taking care of oneself. e.g., 承蒙错爱
• 刍议 noun: self-deprecating description of one's words
• 斗胆 adjective: self-deprecating descriptor used as a warning when someone is about to do or say something out of line/expectation, unreasonable, or out of the norm
• 聊供补壁: Lit. offer a painting that's only worthy of being used to patch your walls—humble way to gift a painting
• 涂鸦 verb: humble way to describe one's painting skill. (Lit. like a child's spilled ink looking like a crow “忽来案上翻墨汁，涂抹诗书如老鸦")
• 急就章 noun: humble way to describe one-self's work was completed in haste and lacks thought

Additional 婉辞 (wǎncí) examples:

• 作古、歸天、歸西、魂游地府、永眠、長眠、含笑九泉、無常、仙逝: Lit. became ancient, returned to heaven, soul wandered to the underworld, eternal sleep, entered Nine Springs with a smile, heavenly exit, etc. -- various expressions to describe someone's passing
• 掛花、掛彩: Lit. hang the flowers / hang the decors -- gun shot wound
• 升遐、驾崩、崩殂、大行: Lit. risen to faraway land / procession broken etc. -- various expressions for a king or emperor's death (classical usage)
• 坐化、圓寂、涅盤: Lit. changed/ascended while seated, attained perfection eliminated impurity, Nirvāṇa, etc—death of a monk/nun
• 乞骸骨: Lit. beg for the skeleton—retirement request for old government officials (classical usage)
• 見背: Lit. see back --- death of family elders (classical usage)
• 頓首: Lit. to stamp the ground with head—kowtow (used in letters; classical usage)
• 千古: Lit. lasts a thousand years—in remembrance of the dead
• 冤家: Lit. destined/mortal enemies—lovers
• 棄養: Lit. given up to raise—parents passed away (classical usage)
• 抱恙: Lit. holding ailments—sick
• 龙体违和: Lit. dragon's body broke harmony—the king is sick (classical usage)
• 薄命: Lit. thin life—died young
• 百年归老: Lit. return to old place at 100 years—used when talking about people's eventual death through aging

Additional 客套语 (kètàoyǔ) examples:

• 勞駕：Lit. to labor your procession - used when asking someone for a favor / trouble someone for something
• 包涵：Lit. to contain [my mistakes] - used when asking someone for forgiveness.
• 借光：Lit. borrow light - used to mean benefited by association to another person; now it can mean excuse me.
• 賜教：Lit. bestow teaching upon - when asking someone to teach you something (from the other's perspective)
• 领教: Lit. receive teaching - when asking someone to teach you something (from own perspective)
• 久違：Lit. long time apart - said courteously when you haven't seen someone in a long time
• 久仰：Lit. admired for a long time - said courteously when meeting someone you've heard of
• 托福：Lit. by your fortune - a thankful expression indicating one's attainment/accomplishment of something is due to another person
• 赏脸：Lit. give face - used when asking someone to be a guest
• 关照: Lit. port / gate visa - when asking someone to look after you / your business
• 不吝指教：Lit. not be stingy about passing knowledge - used when asking someone to teach something
• 恕不遠送：Lit. forgive me for not walking/accompanying you far - used when the host is sending their guests away
• 洗耳恭聽：Lit. cleaned ears to listen - prepared to listen attentively to you
• 不足掛齒：Lit. not enough to hang on your teeth - often used to humbly minimize the significance of one's help towards others
• 借花獻佛：Lit. borrow flower to gift to Buddha - often used to describe one's merely re-gifting a gift; implies no need to put too much significance on the gift

Additional 雅语 (yáyǔ) examples:

• 金蘭: Lit. gold orchid - used to describe sworn/god-brothers and sworn/god-sisters; metaphor implies the tight bond between sworn brothers/sisters is like a sharp sword able to break gold, and their aligned speech/opinion is fragrant to the senses like orchid.
• 芳名: Lit. fragrant / beautiful name - elegant alternative for the word "name" for a young female
• 千秋: Lit. thousand Autumns - elegant word for birthday
• 请留步: Lit. please stay your steps - used to tell someone they don't need to accompany you further (e.g., guests tell host upon leaving)
• 请用膳: Lit. please use meal - used to tell patrons or guests to eat
• 小便: Lit. little convenience - to take a leak
• 大便: Lit. big convenience - to take a dump
• 耳目一新: Lit. ears and eyes refreshed - describes encountering something new and interesting

别 (bié) "to separate": elegant ways to describe various types of separations (i.e., bidding farewell) using the word 别. The sense of elegance / beauty for these words is not translatable, so they are not translated here.

• 告别, 握别, 揖别, 挥别, 吻别, 拜别, 饯别, 谢别, 赠别, 留别, 送别, 抛别, 惜别, 恋别, 阔别, 长别, 永别, 诀别

笔 (bǐ) "brush / pen": elegant ways to describe various situations related to writing/painting, literature and work of art using the word 笔 as a metaphor.

• 动笔, 命笔, 逸笔, 辍笔, 赘笔, 亲笔, 谨笔, 代笔, 草笔, 文笔, 御笔, 随笔, 闲笔, 余笔, 工笔, 润笔, 歪笔, 执笔, 妙笔, 练笔, 伏笔