Yoga Hosers

Yoga Hosers
Theatrical release poster
Directed by	Kevin Smith
Produced by	Liz Destro Jordan Monsanto Jennifer Schwalbach
Written by	Kevin Smith
Starring	Lily-Rose Depp Harley Quinn Smith Vanessa Paradis Austin Butler Tyler Posey Johnny Depp
Music by	Christopher Drake
Cinematography	James R. Laxton
Edited by	Kevin Smith
Production company	StarStream Media Abbolita Films XYZ Films Destro Films SModcast Pictures
Distributed by	Invincible Pictures
Release dates	January 24, 2016 (2016-01-24) (Sundance Film Festival) September 2, 2016 (2016-09-02) (United States)
Running time	88 minutes
Country	United States
Language	English
Budget	$5 million[1]
Box office	$39,585[2]

Yoga Hosers is a 2016 American horror comedy film written and directed by Kevin Smith. The film is a spin-off of Smith's 2014 horror film Tusk. The film stars Johnny Depp alongside his daughter Lily-Rose Depp and Smith's daughter Harley Quinn Smith. The film is the second in Smith's True North trilogy and had its world premiere on January 24, 2016, at the 2016 Sundance Film Festival. The film was released on September 2, 2016 by Invincible Pictures.

Plot

Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie are two average 15-year-old girls that spend their days studying yoga with their guru, Yogi Bayer, and working an after-school job at a Manitoba convenience store called Eh-2-Zed. The two are invited to a party by a popular senior, Hunter Calloway, who is the object of Colleen M's affections.

The next day at school, the girls' history teacher informs the class that the Nazi Party once had an influence in Winnipeg. Led by the self-proclaimed "Canadian Führer" Adrien Arcand and his right-hand-man, Andronicus Arcane, the Canadian Nazis were once a great force of terror. Arcand was later arrested by Federal authorities, but Andronicus Arcane was never found.

Colleen C's father Bob, who own the Eh-2-Zed, and his girlfriend Tabitha, the store's manager, decide to take a spontaneous trip to Niagara Falls, leaving the girls to run the store on the night of Hunter's party. To ease the Colleens' dismay, Hunter and his best friend, Gordon Greenleaf, surprise the girls at the store. Colleen M escorts Hunter to the back room at his request, only to discover that Hunter and Gordon are actually Satanists who wish to sacrifice and dismember the Colleens. Before this can occur, an army of little monsters called Bratzis (one-foot-tall Nazis made from bratwurst, sauerkraut and Andronicus Arcane's blood) attack and kill Hunter and Gordon. Using their yoga skills, the Colleens fight and defeat the Bratzis, but are soon arrested for the murder of Hunter and Gordon.

Legendary man-hunter Guy LaPointe, who had an encounter with the Colleens once before, arrives at the police station to interrogate the girls. Having obtained some of his own evidence of the Bratzis, he believes the girls' testimony and wishes to help them prove their innocence. After sneaking them out of the station and taking them back to the Eh-2-Zed, LaPointe and the Colleens are knocked unconscious by the Bratzis. They are taken to an underground lair beneath the store where they find the Bratzis' master, Andronicus Arcane.

Arcane reveals to LaPointe and the Colleens that he once had dreams of becoming an artist. After having his work ridiculed by various critics, he decided to become a scientist for the Canadian Nazi movement. He continued his work even after the party dissolved and managed to clone himself using bratwurst. The clones needed to incubate for 100 years before they were fully grown, so Arcane cryogenically froze himself until a time where he and his clones could rise again. This process was interrupted when a power outage at the Eh-2-Zed 70 years later caused Arcane to thaw and the clones' incubation to stop, rendering them at just one foot in height. Learning that the Nazi Party had long since been defeated, Arcane began a new mission to kill all critics as revenge for those that poorly reviewed his early work. He reveals he has constructed a ten-foot-tall goaltender from body parts of the Bratzis' victims to carry out his murderous deeds. This "Goalie Golem" is controlled by the Bratzis who operate it from its insides. No longer wishing to follow Arcane's orders, the Golem kills him and then turns on the Colleens. The Colleens once again use their yoga skills to defeat the Golem and soon after, clear their names.

After being dubbed "Hero Clerks" by the media, the Colleens return to their normal lives and end the film with a cover of "O, Canada", accompanied on guitar by Guy LaPointe.

Cast

Production

Smith revealed before the release of Tusk that he had written a spin-off film called Yoga Hosers, which would feature the cast from Tusk.^[3]

In August 2014 it was revealed Yoga Hosers will be an action-adventure film and the second in the True North trilogy.^[4] As well as the entire cast of Tusk, the film will star Depp's daughter, Lily-Rose, and Smith's daughter, Harley Quinn.^[4] Tony Hale, Natasha Lyonne, Austin Butler, Adam Brody, Tyler Posey, and Jason Mewes have also been cast.^[4] StarStream Entertainment will finance and produce the film, while XYZ Films will produce.^[4] In September 2014, it was revealed Haley Joel Osment and Génesis Rodríguez had been cast in the film.^[5][6] It was later revealed Kevin Smith would portray a bratzi.^[7] Comic book writer Stan Lee will make a cameo in the film, his second in a Kevin Smith film, after 1995's Mallrats.^[8]

Filming

Smith announced on August 20, 2014 that filming had begun,^[9] and on September 18, 2014 he stated on SModcast #308 that he had wrapped shooting three quarters of the film, and will finish the last quarter once Depp is available.^[10] Principal photography concluded in January 2015.^[11]

Release

The film had its world premiere at the 2016 Sundance Film Festival on January 24, 2016.^[12][13] A tie-in comic book was also given out exclusively at the Sundance premiere. Written by Kevin Smith and illustrated by Jeff Quigley, Yoga Hosers: When Colleens Collide tells the story of how the girls met and became friends.^[14] In April 2016, Invincible Pictures acquired U.S distribution rights to the film, with a planned July 29, 2016, release.^[15] It was later pushed back to September 2.^[16]

Critical reception

Yoga Hosers received generally negative reviews from critics. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a rating of 20%, based on 50 reviews, with an average rating of 3.5/10. The site's critical consensus reads, "Undisciplined, unfunny, and bereft of evident purpose, Yoga Hosers represents a particularly grating low point in Kevin Smith's once-promising career."^[17] On Metacritic, the film holds a rating of 23 out of 100, based on 17 critics, indicating "generally unfavorable reviews".^[18]

Justin Chang of Variety gave the film a negative review, writing that "Harley Quinn Smith and especially Lily-Rose Depp have sufficient spunk, spark and chemistry (and they’re charming bopping through an end-credits cover of “O Canada”) that you long to see them in a starring vehicle that doesn’t look and feel like an on-screen underwear stain. Shot and edited with the sort of willful slovenliness that presumably fits the anything-goes grab-bag effect Smith was going for, Yoga Hosers looks as though it was probably pretty fun to make, though only the director’s hardcore fans and SModcast listeners are likely to find that pleasure in any way infectious".^[19] John DeFore of The Hollywood Reporter gave the film a negative review, writing that "the young leads seem to be having fun even if you aren't, but any acting careers they might go on to will not be the result of this film."^[20]

Texan film critic and animator Korey Coleman, of DoubleToasted.com (and formerly, Spill.com), expressed strong disdain for the film, claiming that it was the worst movie he had seen in three years.^[21] He also felt Smith's privilege in obtaining funding for the film was disheartening to aspiring filmmakers who struggle to even get a foot in the door of the industry as he essentially saw it as, "an hour and a half-long YouTube video."^[21]

Spin-off

According to Kevin Smith, the third and final film in his True North trilogy will be entitled Moose Jaws, which he describes as "Jaws with a moose".^[22] Smith revealed that the Colleens will return for Moose Jaws.^[23]

References

External links

• Yoga Hosers at the Internet Movie Database