True Scotsman

Satirical caricature of continental European women curious about kilted Scottish soldiers, ca. 1815

True Scotsman is a humorous term used in Scotland for a man wearing a kilt without undergarments.^[1] Though the tradition originated in the military, it has entered Scottish lore as a rite, an expression of light-hearted curiosity about the custom, and even as a subversive gesture.^[2]

However, in 2010, the Director of the Scottish Tartans Authority, Brian Wilton, described the tradition of not wearing undergarments as "childish and unhygienic".^[3] In response, racing driver David Coulthard and some kilt manufacturers spoke in favour of the tradition, while MSP Jamie McGrigor and Wimbledon champion Andy Murray admitted to wearing underwear under their kilts.

Background

Kilts have been traditionally worn without undergarments since their use as part of Scottish military uniform,^[4] leading to the invention of such expressions as "go regimental" or "military practice" for wearing no underwear.^[2][5] On the Western Front during the First World War, some sergeant majors reportedly had mirrors tied to the end of golf clubs or walking sticks to inspect up and under the kilt at parade inspection. However, in 1940 the kilt was retired from combat because of the vulnerability of bare skin to chemical agents,^[6] although it was retained as the formal dress uniform of the regiments.^[7] In the 1950s, kilted soldiers on parade would be checked by the Sergeant Major using a mirror on the barracks floor.^[5] In 1997, a Black Watch soldier received wide press exposure, because of windy conditions during a military ceremony in Hong Kong.^[2]

However, Highland dancers and athletes are bound by the nature of their competitions to appropriately and modestly clothe themselves. In Highland Dance competitions and exhibitions, the regulations of the Scottish Official Board of Highland Dancing (SOBHD) state regarding underwear: "dark or toning with the kilt should be worn but not white."^[8] Highland athletes are also required to wear shorts of some type during competitions.

In popular culture

• Non-Scots and those unfamiliar with kilts seeking to determine the truth of the "True Scotsman" tradition can leave themselves open to innuendo and double entendre, as innocent queries can be turned on the questioner; as with the question "Is there anything worn under the kilt?" being answered with examples such as "No, nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order!" or "Yes, socks, shoes, and talcum powder," and "Yes, socks, shoes, and two shades of lipstick." Humorous "Kilt Inspector" and "Official Kilt Inspector" T-shirts can be purchased in Scottish tourist shops and online.
• In the film On Her Majesty's Secret Service, James Bond removes his kilt to seduce Ruby Bartlett. As it falls to the floor, she laughs and cries out, "It's true!".
• The plot of the sixteenth Carry On... film, Carry On Up the Khyber, revolves around the mishaps of a fictional Scottish regiment following the discovery that one of them, Private Widdle, is not a True Scotsman.
• In the Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch, "Ideal Loon Exhibition",^[9] one of the more popular attractions at the exhibition is the "Scotsman With Nae Trews Exhibit, Sponsored by Natural Gas". It features John Cleese, in full Highlander garb, standing solemnly on a pedestal whilst a line of old ladies come up one by one and take a look under his kilt.
• In the film Wrongfully Accused, Leslie Nielsen at one point dresses in a kilt to infiltrate a Pipe Band. He steps over a sewer grate blowing air a la Marilyn Monroe in the film Seven Year Itch, and noise similar to air being blown over an open bottle is heard.
• In the 1949 film, The Hasty Heart, Yank, played by Ronald Reagan, refuses to believe that nothing is worn under a kilt and during the film, there are several times where the soldiers try to look under the kilt of Richard Todd's character. In the end, someone looks under his kilt and everyone starts laughing, as presumably Todd was indeed wearing nothing.
• In the Simpsons Episode Children of a Lesser Clod, when playing basketball at the Springfield YMCA, Groundskeeper Willie completes a lay-up when the other men recoil at the sight of his exposed privates from running in a kilt, In the Episode Who Shot Mr. Burns Groundskeeper Willie does a parody of The Basic Instinct cross-legging scene, where Chief Wiggum, Lou and Eddie recoil after Willie uncrosses his legs and crosses them again. Eddie then points a gun at him and tells him that was his last warning.
• In the Greg Davies comedy show, Man Down, Stephanie Cole's female character Nesta arrives in the room wearing a kilt and Dan (Greg Davies) asks "please tell me you're wearing underwear!", to which Nesta replies "I am of Scottish heritage and proud!", she then lifts her kilt up and Dan recoils and yells "I'm Blind!, She's blinded me!",
• The song "The Scotsman", popularized in 1980 by Bryan Bowers through airplay on the Dr. Demento radio show, finds a pair of young ladies encountering a "True Scotsman".^[10]

See also

• Going commando

References