The Marine Biologist

"The Marine Biologist" is the 78th episode of the American sitcom Seinfeld. It is the 14th episode of the fifth season. It was originally broadcast on NBC on February 10, 1994. Jerry Seinfeld considers the episode to be one of his favorites. [Season 5 extras. inside looks # 7] About thirteen minutes into the episode, when Elaine confronts Kramer about the electronic organizer, Kramer opens his door wide enough so that one can see inside his apartment, which most noticeably (in this scene) features a framed black-and-white photograph of Jerry Seinfeld on the wall, in a close-up sort of pose with his hand on forehead, looking somewhat exhausted, like most authorial back-flap photographs. It was the first episode with an alternate ending. Instead of the usual stand-up comedy, it showed some final developments of the plot.

Plot

While having a conversation with Elaine about his favorite yellow T-shirt, "Golden Boy" (which, due to its age, is "dying"), Jerry tells her the novel War and Peace was originally called War, What is it Good For? (a reference to Edwin Starr's hit song "War"). Kramer gives Elaine an electronic organizer. Also he has acquired a stash of 600 Titleist golf balls from a driving range and decides to practice his driving skills by hitting them into the ocean rather than a driving range.

Jerry meets a female friend from college (Rosalind Allen), and claims that George is a marine biologist. George, who now is expecting a call from her, is upset because he prefers to lie about being an architect.

Elaine shares what Jerry told her with an eccentric Russian author, Yuri Testikov (George Murdock), who is being courted by Pendant Publishing, her company. This causes a brief argument between Elaine, Mr. Lippman, & Testikov. Upon hearing Elaine's electronic organizer beep repeatedly, he angrily grabs it from her and tosses it out of the window of the limousine they are sharing.

Kramer returns home in humiliation, having missed every ball except one, and becomes obsessed with getting sand out of his clothing. At the beach, George keeps lying about his job when he is called upon to use his nonexistent marine biology skills to save a beached whale. Later, Jerry receives a phone call from a woman named Corinne (Carol Kane) who sees his phone number in the organizer after it hit her in the head while she was walking down the street. The two meet at Monk's Café and the woman won't return Elaine's organizer to Jerry until she is compensated for her hospital bill.

Elaine wants Testikov to pay for the woman's bills, so she and Jerry go to confront him in his hotel room. Elaine carries a tape recorder in her bag, Testikov hears a noise and thinks they are secretly recording him; he reacts by throwing the tape recorder out the window, hitting the very same woman in the head while she waits outside to return the electronic organizer. Meanwhile, while trying to get sand out of his shoe, Kramer accidentally drops it out of his apartment window, hitting Newman who happens to be strolling beneath.

In Monk's Café, the episode ends with George's dramatic retelling of his struggle with the whale in a famous climax:

George: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you, boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on - and as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you, Jerry, at that moment - I was a Marine Biologist! ...The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli! I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!
Jerry: Mammal.
George: Whatever.^[1]

George reveals that the whale's blowhole had been blocked with Kramer's golf ball. Kramer responds meekly that it was a "hole in one." George also told his girlfriend about not really being a marine biologist; she dumped him as a result. Elaine then asks Jerry what happened to "Golden Boy"; he tells her it "didn't make it", but it's now been replaced by its son, "Baby Blue."

Critical reception

Rick Kushman of The Sacramento Bee listed this as one of the Top Ten Seinfeld Episodes: a "brilliantly plotted story that weaves together all kinds of silliness," including this famous exchange:

Jerry: I may have mentioned you're a marine biologist.
George: But I'm not a marine biologist.
Jerry: I'm aware of that.
...later...
George: Why couldn't you make me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.^[2]

In 2009, a New Hampshire Union Leader columnist speculated that one could ask "people to name their favorite living marine biologist... and the most likely answer is George Costanza."^[3]

References

Seinfeld episodes
Season 1	"The Seinfeld Chronicles" "The Stake Out" "The Robbery" "Male Unbonding" "The Stock Tip"
Season 2	"The Ex-Girlfriend" "The Pony Remark" "The Jacket" "The Phone Message" "The Apartment" "The Statue" "The Revenge" "The Heart Attack" "The Deal" "The Baby Shower" "The Chinese Restaurant" "The Busboy"
Season 3	"The Note" "The Truth" "The Pen" "The Dog" "The Library" "The Parking Garage" "The Cafe" "The Tape" "The Nose Job" "The Stranded" "The Alternate Side" "The Red Dot" "The Subway" "The Pez Dispenser" "The Suicide" "The Fix-Up" "The Boyfriend" "The Limo" "The Good Samaritan" "The Letter" "The Parking Space" "The Keys"
Season 4	"The Trip" "The Pitch" "The Ticket" "The Wallet" "The Watch" "The Bubble Boy" "The Cheever Letters" "The Opera" "The Virgin" "The Contest" "The Airport" "The Pick" "The Movie" "The Visa" "The Shoes" "The Outing" "The Old Man" "The Implant" "The Junior Mint" "The Smelly Car" "The Handicap Spot" "The Pilot"
Season 5	"The Mango" "The Puffy Shirt" "The Glasses" "The Sniffing Accountant" "The Bris" "The Lip Reader" "The Non-Fat Yogurt" "The Barber" "The Masseuse" "The Cigar Store Indian" "The Conversion" "The Stall" "The Dinner Party" "The Marine Biologist" "The Pie" "The Stand In" "The Wife" "The Raincoats" "The Fire" "The Hamptons" "The Opposite"
Season 6	"The Chaperone" "The Big Salad" "The Pledge Drive" "The Chinese Woman" "The Couch" "The Gymnast" "The Soup" "The Mom & Pop Store" "The Secretary" "The Race" "The Switch" "The Label Maker" "The Scofflaw" "The Highlights of 100" "The Beard" "The Kiss Hello" "The Doorman" "The Jimmy" "The Doodle" "The Fusilli Jerry" "The Diplomat's Club" "The Face Painter" "The Understudy"
Season 7	"The Engagement" "The Postponement" "The Maestro" "The Wink" "The Hot Tub" "The Soup Nazi" "The Secret Code" "The Pool Guy" "The Sponge" "The Gum" "The Rye" "The Caddy" "The Seven" "The Cadillac" "The Shower Head" "The Doll" "The Friar's Club" "The Wig Master" "The Calzone" "The Bottle Deposit" "The Wait Out" "The Invitations"
Season 8	"The Foundation" "The Soul Mate" "The Bizarro Jerry" "The Little Kicks" "The Package" "The Fatigues" "The Checks" "The Chicken Roaster" "The Abstinence" "The Andrea Doria" "The Little Jerry" "The Money" "The Comeback" "The Van Buren Boys" "The Susie" "The Pothole" "The English Patient" "The Nap" "The Yada Yada" "The Millennium" "The Muffin Tops" "The Summer of George"
Season 9	"The Butter Shave" "The Voice" "The Serenity Now" "The Blood" "The Junk Mail" "The Merv Griffin Show" "The Slicer" "The Betrayal" "The Apology" "The Strike" "The Dealership" "The Reverse Peephole" "The Cartoon" "The Strongbox" "The Wizard" "The Burning" "The Bookstore" "The Frogger" "The Maid" "The Puerto Rican Day" "The Chronicle" "The Finale"
Indicates two-part episode