Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else

"Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else" is the 90th episode of the ABC television series, Desperate Housewives. It is the third episode of the show's fifth season and aired on October 12, 2008.

Plot

Danielle returns to Wisteria Lane for a visit with her husband Leo, and son, Benjamin. Orson advises Bree not to criticize Danielle but this soon proves difficult when Bree learns Benjamin is vegetarian, being home schooled by Danielle and calling his mother by her first name. While at the park, she convinces Benjamin to eat meat by showing him pictures of Danielle when she was young and telling him that eating meat will make him strong. She then gives Benjamin two hot dogs and instructs him not to tell his mom, but later at Danielle's welcome home party Benjamin is sick and Danielle finds the traces of meat in his vomit. Angry at Bree's decisions, Danielle leaves. Orson reveals his anger at Bree for ruining the visit in one day, that took three years to arrange. He also blames Bree for losing Benjamin, arguing she didn't fight for him enough.

Susan's son M.J. is suffering at the hands of a bully, but he did not want to tell who is bullying him. Later Susan saw Gaby's daughter, Juanita pushing him after she grabbed his ball. Susan asks Gaby to have a word with her daughter but a simple request turns unpleasant when they start insulting each other's children. In the meantime, Susan prepares M.J. to face bullies by asking Mike to teach him to fight (who insists he doesn't condone fighting with girls) and giving him a whistle. When Juanita pushes M.J. down the next time around, Susan retaliates by doing the same to Juanita to show her how it feels. As Gaby observes this, she goes over to Susan and they engage in argument which then turns into a cat fight between the women. Susan apologizes with a bottle of Vodka and the women talk, both highlighting their problems, Gaby losing her extravagant lifestyle due to Carlos losing his sight and subsequently his job, and Susan having another failed marriage and having trouble raising her new son, they both say to each other they are doing fine and are both good mothers.

Gaby loses the last part of her glamorous life, her Aston Martin to a rich couple as a gift to their nanny. Carlos sold the car for less than it's worth, and Gaby is forced to buy an older car from Andrew. As Gaby takes it out the car breaks down. She confronts Andrew about it and learns the radiator is broken which will cost $300 to repair. However, Andrew refuses to pay for the damages as it is her burden to repair the car. Later, Gaby demands that Andrew pays the money and threatens to crash into his new sports car if he doesn't. Andrew eventually agrees to pay for the repair.

Dave stumbles across Tom who is clearing out the garage with Lynette. Lynette criticizes Tom for not throwing more useless items out. Dave then uncovers Tom's old bass guitar and suggests to start a garage band. Tom agreed and they both start playing together, much to Lynette's discomfort. In order to get him to stop, Lynette leaves his guitar in the middle of the garage, leaving Penny's doll next to it so she has to take the blame when Tom runs over it with the car. Dave later drops by with a new guitar to give to Tom. When Lynette disagrees again, Dave reveals to her the truth of a mid-life crisis which Tom is experiencing, and he wishes to fulfill his dreams. Struck by these home truths, Lynette takes the guitar and gives it to Tom as a present from her. When Dave sees this, we're told that he has in fact just taken advantage of them, but we're not told why.

Mrs. McCluskey, still suspicious of Dave, joins with Katherine to discover more about him. Katherine can't find anything over the Internet about him as they have very little information about him. So they invite Edie for lunch to fish some details about Dave. Mrs. McCluskey very blatantly asks questions about Dave's past, but even Edie doesn't know herself. At Danielle's welcome home dinner, Katherine subtly steers the conversation back to Dave's past asking where he went to college. When Dave is reluctant to answer, Edie continues questioning him. Dave claims that he comes from "the mid-west", a reference to the novel The Great Gatsby. Dave tells the others he didn't go to college and that his dad had drinking problems. Edie later apologizes when they reach home, and she blames her questioning him on Mrs. McCluskey's keen interest. Aware that she's trying to suss him out, Dave feeds the idea into Edie's head that Mrs. McCluskey may be starting to go senile.

International titles

• French: Les tyrans (Tyrants)
• German: Tyrannen (Tyrants)
• Hebrew: ילדים הם לא כמו כולם (Yeladim Hem Lo Kmo Kulam; Kids Are Not Like Everybody Else)
• Hungarian: Zsarnokok (Tyrants)
• Italian: I bulli e i prepotenti (Bullies and upstarts)
• Polish: Kłótnie dzieciaków (Kids' wrangles)
• Greek: Τα παιδιά δεν είναι σαν κανένα άλλο (Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else)

Notes

• The title comes from a Leonard Bernstein/Stephen Sondheim song, "Like Everybody Else", that was cut from the original stage production of "West Side Story".
• This episode averaged 15.51 million viewers, rating of 9.8 and share of 15. It was #6 for the week of Oct.6 - Oct.12.
• Although credited Porter Scavo (Charlie Carver), Preston Scavo (Max Carver) and Parker Scavo (Joshua Logan Moore) do not appear in this episode.