Hansel & Gretel Get Baked
|Hansel & Gretel Get Baked|
|Directed by||Duane Journey|
|Written by||David Tillman|
Lara Flynn Boyle
Corey Allen Jackson|
|Edited by||Sean Yates|
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (also known as Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel and the 420 Witch) is a horror-comedy film from Mark Morgan, producer of The Twilight Saga film series. Directed by Duane Journey, it stars Michael Welch, Molly Quinn, Lara Flynn Boyle. The film was released in theaters and on VOD on February 19, 2013.
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is one of several different film adaptations of the classic fairy tale "Hansel and Gretel" released in 2013. The others are Hansel and Gretel, produced by The Asylum, Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, which stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton.
The film begins with an electrician (cameo by Cary Elwes) monitoring the electricity box behind an old house. Peering in through a window, he sees a huge marijuana crop. Something pulls him through the window, and we hear him give a dying scream.
We then cut to see Gretel (Molly Quinn) and her boyfriend Ashton smoking weed in Gretel's room. The weed is a new strain called "Black Forest" and is being produced by a little old lady living in Pasadena. When Gretel's older brother Hansel (Michael Welch) comes home, he tantalizes the stoned pair with a box of gingerbread cookie mix. Gretel agrees to bake the cookies while Ashton goes off to buy more Black Forest from the old lady.
Ashton is invited into the old lady's house. The lady's name is Agnes (Lara Flynn Boyle) and unbeknownst to everyone, she is a witch. Ashton is drugged and awakens on an operating table guarded by Agnes's demonic dog. Meanwhile, Agnes coats his body in butter before eating parts of his body and eventually sucking out his youth (which restores her youth in turn). Eventually, Hansel and Gretel begin searching for Ashton, but they are ridiculed by the police and the trail ends with Agnes. The siblings interrogate Agnes, but she reveals nothing.
Meanwhile, local drug kingpin Carlos intimidates Agnes' dealer Manny into giving him the address of the house. Manny finds Agnes first to warn her that Carlos is coming, but she just laughs and kills Manny and steals his youth. When Carlos and his two thugs arrive, she easily dispatches Carlos and one of the thugs, while trapping the surviving henchman in a cage. It is also revealed that she can turn her victims into zombies to help in her attacks. Meanwhile, Gretel and Manny's girlfriend Bianca (Bianca Saad) join forces to infiltrate Agnes' house. Before they leave, Gretel emails Hansel that she is going to confront Agnes again.
While Bianca distracts Agnes through various means, Gretel sneaks into the basement where she finds the Black Forest crop, the remaining henchman, and the remains of the men Agnes has killed. Gretel leaves a trail of Skittles to help her find her way through the Black Forest. Eventually, Agnes sees through the ruse and the two girls are captured (and Agnes kills the henchman in front of them). Hansel shows up and is confronted by Carlos (now a zombie) after discovering Agnes is a witch. Agnes also shoots two cops who show up to investigate the disappearance of all the teens (but it is later revealed they survived due to wearing bullet proof vests). Although Hansel destroys the zombie, he is knocked out by Agnes and placed in the oven room for cooking preparation.
Gretel and Bianca break out of their cage and sing the demonic dog to sleep. They stop Agnes right before she cooks Hansel, but Agnes manages to kill Bianca. During the struggle, Gretel manages to push Agnes into the oven and lock her in. The oven explodes, causing the marijuana crop and house to burn down. Hansel and Gretel manage to escape.
As various first responders arrive at the scene, we see a cat strolling about the ashes. One of the first responders picks up the cat and takes it into his van with him, planning to take the feline home. We then hear the responder's howls of agony as he is slaughtered in his van. We see that Agnes (who had shape-shifted into the cat and somehow survived the oven) is now behind the wheel. She smiles at the camera as she drives away from the scene.
- Michael Welch as Hansel
- Molly Quinn as Gretel
- Lara Flynn Boyle as Agnes/The Witch
- Lochlyn Munro as Officer Ritter
- Yancy Butler as Officer Hart
- Cary Elwes as Meter Man
- Bianca Saad as Bianca
- Reynaldo Gallegos as Carlos
- Celestino Cornielle as Octavio (as Celestin Cornielle)
- Joe Ordaz as Jorge
- Eddy Martin as Manny
- Andrew James Allen as Ashton
- Edward Zo as Teenager #1
- Doug Haley as Teenager #2
- David Tillman as Norm
- Danielle Adams as Paramedic
- Lexie Hofer as Coed #1
- Orvis Slack as Paramedic
Hansel & Gretel Get Baked was released in select theaters and on VOD on February 19, 2013.
- Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters – A Paramount/MGM/MTV Films production starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton and Famke Janssen.
- Hansel & Gretel – A low-budget film by The Asylum.
- "Hansel & Gretel Get Baked". Bloody Disgusting. January 10, 2013. Retrieved January 16, 2013.
- Hansel & Gretel Get Baked at the Internet Movie Database
- Shock Till You Drop
- Hansel & Gretel Get Baked at Rotten Tomatoes
- Bloody Disgusting